The Workermonkey

Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Day's News 

# posted by Damon @ 4/30/2006 07:05:00 AM

Here are some photos taken from the front webpage of what I think is Sweden's biggest newspaper Dagens Nyheter (the post title is the literal translation.) Nice eh? One article is about the pagan holiday celebration today, one was captioned about demonstrations in New York regarding Iraq, and I don't know about the other.

4 comments

boobs are always news. always

By  The Namby Pamby, at Sunday, April 30, 2006 11:22:00 AM  

I never got past the boobs either.

By  JLee, at Sunday, April 30, 2006 6:55:00 PM  

Yeah my eyes hit the boobs first, then the comments.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Sunday, April 30, 2006 10:57:00 PM  

there's something here besides boobs?

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:14:00 AM  

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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Some random stuff 

# posted by Damon @ 4/29/2006 01:43:00 AM

This started as a comment below, but you know me, rambling on and on.

This seems to be a rather busy time everywhere. Anyone want to work in heat exchanger design and manufacture? Both Matt and the guy I was talking to about flue gas heat recovery were "swamped." The other jackass couldn't even get me a price a month after I gave him the info (presumably because there is no way it will result in a sale). Thanks again for your part Matt.

Anyway, there are some good and bad political happenings I have noticed. The world knows the DMCA was a ridiculous law written by the RIAA and MPAA, and many have called for reducing its power. Instead, Congress may go further. Goggle "net neutrality," and maybe join MoveOn's petition. Potentially ISPs could limit access to some sites and give preferred access to others. Maybe it's a way of paid advertising, maybe it's censorship, looks like bullshit to me. This affects blogs and music downloads as well.

Dodd, Lieberman, and Simmons are all cosponsers of a bill designed to encourage alternative fuels and efficiency to reduce oil consumption by 10 million barrels a day by 2030 (which is in theory a good idea, but there will be so little left by then it will cost as much as platinum and we won't be burning it anyway.)

What do you think of a Spanish version of the national anthem? I think it's a great idea. English is not the US' official language, people can use any language they want (or any system of units:) so this is a good way for our major minority to feel closer to the nation. I especially appreciate that concept living in another nation that does not have an official language and often provides at least two versions of documents and information.

This is an interesting weekend in Sweden. It's the King's birthday so there's a bunch of stuff going on for that and he's 60, so it's a big deal this time. Yesterday, he received gifts from a massive line of people saying "oooh, fantastik!" all day. Sunday, there is another great Swedish holiday based on pagan tradition. The basic idea is for every neighborhood to have a big bonfire to welcome summer and maybe do some singing, dancing, and drinking. Finally, Monday is a "red day." Red days are usually like Bank Holidays in Britain in that everything is closed, but this one is red in another way in that the far left political groups stage rallies and demonstrations. Their refusal to work on this day is what causes it to be a day off, and a friend goes so far as to suggest that I either get out of town, or maybe enjoy it and smash some windows at shops and such.

Oh yeah, and Matt I don't think you can be Awesome Inc. just yet. That would mean you have sold publicly held stock. At the moment you are probable a sole proprietorship, which has some nasty risk implications, but it's easy. Google finds several people referring to themselves as Awesome Inc, although none are actually incorporated (at least not in the US.)

5 comments

i can get around it, i spelt it wrong on the order too. fucking "e".

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Saturday, April 29, 2006 9:37:00 AM  

Long live the King! Seriously...we still have kings in this world?

I've only dabbled in informing myself about this net neutrality stuff. It does seem pretty serious. The internet is growing and growing in possibility. Thats all we need are some assholes to fuck it all up for everyone.

Did anyone hear science friday with that prof from CA talking about a methanol economy? It wasn't that good, but it was funny because this guy would just drone on and on. Ira Plato would continually interupt him, get frustrated, and they would share little snaps back and forth. Most amusing.

By  Brancibeer, at Saturday, April 29, 2006 12:02:00 PM  

Do we ever still have kings:

"Among the international guests of honour were King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia of Spain, Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands, King Albert II and Queen Paola of Belgium, King Harold and Queen Sonja of Norway, Prince Albert of Monaco, and members of the Jordanian royal family.

Denmark was represented by Princess Mary, who is of Australian origin, and the prince consort, Henrik, since Queen Margrethe II had a bad cold and her eldest son, Crown Prince Frederik, was sailing in Italy."

By  Damon, at Tuesday, May 02, 2006 6:09:00 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:21:00 AM  

ok, that comment above wasn't me, but it does sound like something i'd say. i'm not serious about it. awsome inc. is very much a joke. type "awsome" into google and see how much comes up. crazy. HX's are booming man. thanks for the props. "props", "man", fuck i'm loaded.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:23:00 AM  

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Friday, April 28, 2006

must be the weather 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/28/2006 04:01:00 PM

what, no posting this week?

couple things,

1. I've got tickets to yankee stadium for tomarrows game and at least one, maybe two are still available. let me know if anyone is interested (25$ a ticket, should be a good old time) we'll be drinking and leaving CT around 10:00 in the morning. of course i think i've already asked everyone local who could make it and i can't think of anyone who might read this who i haven't asked. damn.

2. the art is going to start flowing soon, anyone wishing for a choice of slides or parts, step up and let me know before i move them all.

3. i love mcmaster carr, Awsome Inc. is now offcial after making it's first purchase.

4. who the hell does bush think he's fooling by trying to crack down on oil companies? what a fucking joke. and who says fox isn't conservitive, or this white house doesn't control the media. i haven't been talking politics lately, it's mostly because it sickens me. and i get really angry. like really angry. i'm sure i've woken a few of you up arguing with latenight TV news. i've kind of taken the approach that i just need to hang on for two more years and ignor everything that is happening, the only really good thing i could see happening is maybe the dem's take back the senate in the midterm elections and grow enough of a ball to impeach Bush like they did to clinton. watching chaney take over would be bad but the whole thing would only be symbolic, nothing more then a show. if they had enough control to get bush impeached, then they'd have enough control to keep chaney in line for two years.

4 comments

Ha! Awsome Inc. Thats great..no wait..thats awesome. I know what you mean about politics, its so sickening at this point its ridiculous.

Brancibeer's been too busy to post. Losing an employee in the office takes its toll. I'll be gone all next week too. I'm looking forward to my vacation!!

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, April 28, 2006 5:25:00 PM  

Ditto here about the business. er...busyness.
This is the legislature's last 2 weeks so everything is packed in at once. They try to pass as many bills as possible before session ends midnight this Wed/Thurs. After that I'll only have ONE job there, which will be a godsend. such a fucking blessing. Then i'll post more. Because I certainly have some interesting stories - the insider scoop if you will..

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Friday, April 28, 2006 10:37:00 PM  

I'm still waiting on intern stories. "Ummm...can you pick up this...package...for me..."
You sleeze.

By  Brancibeer, at Saturday, April 29, 2006 11:52:00 AM  

Haha me too, will you have to keep it on the down low until the end of your political career? Or can the book come out now?

By  Damon, at Saturday, April 29, 2006 2:51:00 PM  

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

NL Central 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/26/2006 05:27:00 PM

St. Louis Cardinals; pujols pujols pujols. Stay out of his way or he might hit you 400 feet. This guy is mashing right now and should finish the season with a ton of home runs. Rolen needs to get on and stay on the field this year. There is a lot of talent on the roster but there are more holes then last year. They finally let reggie sanders go, a good move but replaced him with perpetual mediocrity in juan encarnacion. Not a bad flyer on sidny ponson, he was a good starter once, and all he has to do is pitch a little better and he’ll be very productive in the NL. Pitching outside the AL east is much easier, even if he does the exact same thing this year, his ERA will be a run lower simply by switching leagues. This team isn’t going to run away with the devision this year but they will still win it. Mulder and carpenter are going to be a solid one-two and there are enough live arms around to keep them in pitching. They need some young blood on this team and from what I’ve read their farm system is devoid of useful players. Jim edmonds might just explode on the field if he hits the wall at the right angle this year. Props to rick ankiel who made this team as a backup outfielder. Anyone remember when he was the next great hitting pitcher? Well now he’s a little pop outfielder after giving up on the mound. The cards also have the good molina at catcher. There are enough super stars here to keep them going into the playoffs, their lack of depth and replacement players is going to hurt them at some point.

Houston Astros; if clemens is coming back, it isn’t with this team. He wants to win, which means this year, and if huston isn’t running away with the division at the ASB then he’ll go anywhere else. Finally, bagwell is done. It’s not that I didn’t like him, he was just way past due. It was painful for me to watch him throw a ball. If this was the american league, he’d still be playing as a DH for at least this year and maybe next. It’s a sad day for huston fans but it’s overdue and the team is better for it. This lets berkman move to first and save his knees so they don’t face the same situation with him in a year or two. Biggio is and will always be the same, but his production is going to drop off real fast some day. Oswalt, Backe and Pettit round out a nice little staff and this team has a few young guys like willy tavares that are the future. The problem with this team is that they have a bunch of guys who would be decent stopgaps for other teams, but huston realies on them to be everyday players. Ausmus proved years ago he can’t hit, mike lamb, adam everett and chris burke could all be replaced with better alternatives. This teaem isn’t bad and they seem like they are willing to make those inseason trades to better the club. They finish second, but its not a close one for the wilidcard, all the teams in this division are going to keep eachother down. This is a tough devision to play in and because it has 6 teams, your line up really needs to be built to compete with the other teams in the division. Expect this spot to be close with the team that finishes third and fourth.

Milwakee Brewers; oh yeah, this team is for real, and they’ve done it right and set themselves up to be good for a long time. this team makes KC, Pitt, tampa and anyother “small market” team that is struggeling look really retarded. They started over and it only took a few years to get to where they wanted to be. Not 5 different useless “3 year plans” like some organizations employ (cough…pittsburg…cough). Let prince fielder play and he’ll be better than his father. They got guys like JJ hardy coming up and a bunch of kids who are going ot be productive. Their bullpen came out of nowhere last year and did fantastic, anyone ever hear of derik turnbrow? Well he was the reason they had a good pen, that and they proved once and for all you don’t need to spend a million on anyone to mop up games. Releivers have up and down years and each year is different from the next. This team has its good young pitchers too. Ben sheets, doug davis, capuano and I don’t know the other guys but they could be good, they’ll win some games and won’t be let down by the bulpen. Ricki weeks, jj hardy and prince fielder will occupy the infield for years and is a solid core to build around, plus they have gabe gross in the OF who could turn into something good in the NL. Corey koskie, carlos lee (who is going to hit like crazy for them again) rick helling, tomo ohka and dan kolb (ugh) aren’t going to be around when this team is great, but they will fill in until all the parts are in place and they start signing some impact players to compete. They’ll win games and be apain in the ass for most people, but they are going to make a lot of rookie mistakes too. They finish 2^nd or gasp! 1^st next year. Almost time for them.

Chicago Cubs; ugh. Until dusty baker leaves town they will never win. He destroys their pitchers and plays terrible players (nefi perez anyone?). This team wasn’t getting any higher in the standing even with derik lee all year. Jaque jones wasn’t the answer to their hitting woes and barrett is a fine cather. They have some good kids playing this year, but only by default because dusty is a retard. I’m sure he’ll screw them up too. Guys like maddux and carlos zambrano make dusty look good, but they are good inspite of him, not because. Zambrano could win the cy young any year and maddux seems to be young again. This is going to be a very long summer for cubs fans. I’ve seen some great articals about how when the white sox win, and the cubs loose, each team makes giant strides in fanbase and money generated. Kind of interesting but if they suck this year, it might do some great harm to the franchise because the white sox aren’t going away yet. I’d go on with more about this team but no one cares at this point.

Cincinnati Reds; a lot of good things here to go with the bad. Tony womack? They gave the yankees two B level prospects for this? As I’m writing this, I know tony womack has already been designated for assignment and his season is over unless the entire infiled dies in a horrible plane crash. Hatteberg shouldn’t be allowed I the batters box or to wast time at first where Dunn should be. Kearns, dunn and brandon philips are going to hit a lot and griffy would too if he plays. Griffy is his own arguemet and needless to say, I just feel bad for him, I wish he could be healthy again. Let ryan freel move all over the place, his worth is like posedniks and chone figgins. This pitching staff is built to pitch in a park that doesn’t give up a ton of home runs, yet The great american bal park is a homer haven. Milton and the rest are going to give up a ton of home runs. Getting arroyo from the sox was a good move, he’ll do well when not pitching at home. This team has been able to hit for awhile now with little to no pitching, they are always in search of a good pitcher. Getting arroyo for pena was what they wanted, although I though they could do better. If they find a pticher midseason, they could jump up the standing. The 2-5 spots in this division are going to be close all year.

Pittsburg Pirates; I’m taking the KC royals path here. If the team/organization doesn’t care about this franchise, why should i. sean casey was a good pick up, but burnitz? Did someone black out and forget what he’s done, not just last year, but his entire career? What a joke. Plus joe randa? What, two years of uselessness weren’t enough? They have some chips, like abunch of young lefty’s and jason bay/jack wilson but its going to take a lot more here then just them, plus they are still alll too young. This team is going to get killed this season because the rest of the division is just plain better.

4 comments

side note; Damon, i did get your calls and emails, your number shows up as 000-012-3456 and it doesn't go anywhere. i'll get something, for you, but i'm swamped right now because once again half the people who work here are gone this week.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:13:00 PM  

I call via Skype so you can't call back. If you don't have time, just pick a number, it'd be better than mine: $16250 i.e: I have no idea. And let it be publically known (so I don't forget) that I owe Matt a 12 pack of his choosing.

By  Damon, at Thursday, April 27, 2006 3:42:00 PM  

i just sent you an email about all this stuff, it came out about 19900$

how well does skype work? i've never used it buti know google took a big chance on it. (or maybe it was yahoo, i forget)

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 27, 2006 4:03:00 PM  

It was Google that bought it and I don't think it was much of a risk. It is the only product they have that has a clear and definate way to generate income. It usually works very well. If you call someone else who is also using it on their pc it's free. But if you use it to call a regular phone in the US it's $0.021/minute regardless of where you call from. In the Fall I noticed some echos or cutting out, but it's been flawless the last several times I have used it. I would think that using it pc-to-pc, it would have much better sound quality than ancient telephone techonology.

By  Damon, at Friday, April 28, 2006 1:16:00 AM  

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Monday, April 24, 2006

Lavar Arrington is a Giant 

# posted by Damon @ 4/24/2006 11:04:00 AM

Maybe it's all over the TV and radio there, but I just found this out and I'm am really excited. After six weeks of speculation, a player I loved to watch at Penn State now fixes a major hole for New York. Let's just hope that he stays healthy, and that without conflict with the coaches that he can play up to the potential seen when he was drafted number two overall and compared to LT.

5 comments

i did see this but the news over here ran kind of under the radar. it didn't make any big splashes. i'm really excited though, he's still awsome and we needed linebackers. why doesn't anyone else think LT with arington? he's a monster who can run/jump/hit everything and just flat out kill people. the only stuff i ever read about the giants not wanting him was that he wouldn't fit into thier defensive scheme, well bullshit, change the scheme around him. that would have to have been one of the worst excuses ever for not signing him.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, April 24, 2006 1:18:00 PM  

Yeah I can't wait to see him in action. I watched rival Redskins games just to see him, and in college he tackled LT style with arms spread out engulfing both QB and RB so it didn't matter if it was a fake or not. His verticle is 46" and he would leap over the line and come down like a missle crushing the QB, or he would hurdle a poor RB sent to block him. He blocked a kick or punt about every other game, and I've seen him take down the kick returner by throwing a blocker into him.

I didn't see anything saying he or the Giants had any problems, just that he wanted too much money, and I think we got a pretty good deal, with only $11 million guaranteed. Nor did I read he wouldn't fit in the scheme, but he freelances some so he's not perfect in any scheme, but when the other LB's and S's can tackle, it's ok. Especially with a good MLB, he'll be free to make big plays. Giants are looking nasty this year. I am getting home the during the weak before the opener so I'll be looking to see some people and watch the Manning vs Manning game.

By  Damon, at Monday, April 24, 2006 2:53:00 PM  

go gints baby

By  murphy, at Monday, April 24, 2006 7:52:00 PM  

my satalite tv is routed from NY so we get all the Giants games out here. I a definate bonus. No red sox games though. I am the mercy of espn and it blows.

Brianciteam i have never been to glacier but we could definately check it out

By  murphy, at Tuesday, April 25, 2006 1:05:00 PM  

Murphy that's a great idea with the satellite, you can always get local stuff over the air anyway.

By  Damon, at Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:49:00 PM  

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Saturday, April 22, 2006

Blaze King? 

# posted by murphy @ 4/22/2006 12:40:00 PM

Your Damn right i am

Tonight Eli's comin thru town and were having a kegger for his departure to Oregon for the summer months. Expanding out, guiding new rivers and still living the dream going on 29. God bless that man. Moving out with his new lady/soon to be wife? Im working two nights a week at the Bar and last night i recieved the honor of 'coolest bouncer ever' Flops, shorts, drinkin a beer and high as a muther. Of course this was an informal honor givin to me by a group of drunks and one bartender but I was overjoyed nontheless.

Helpin my roommate out on a side job hanging sheet rock and insulation. It sucks, my eyes are red and swollen all the time, more so than regular. need the extra money though so for now im working like a mexican.

Team HungerForce has booked a flight out here May 31st thru the 11th and RedBaron comin out acouple days after him. they will be making full reports on the subsequent insanity that ensues as a result of vacation location and the inebriated sensations. You cant stay away for ever, eventually ill get the rest of you out here and youll love it.

Forever Taking Care of Business

Samson

11 comments

you gotta loosen up murph. have a drink, smoke a j.

By  josh, at Saturday, April 22, 2006 1:56:00 PM  

ps. i love you man

By  josh, at Saturday, April 22, 2006 1:57:00 PM  

you took the words right out of my mouth, i love you too man, stay black

By  murphy, at Saturday, April 22, 2006 8:44:00 PM  

Team Hungerforce will indeed be visiting. I've put myself on a strict training regime in preperation- no less than 3 beers a night. 2 nights of the week, hard liquor of some kind is substituted for the beer. I've been hitting the weight bench and the pipe more than usual too. Hungerforce is always prepared.

Murph have you been to Glacier National Park?

By  Brancibeer, at Saturday, April 22, 2006 10:09:00 PM  

i can't read what you're talking about. Why don't you get less drunk ande I'll listen to music from the andeisl...

[oihoi[oihiohj

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Sunday, April 23, 2006 1:33:00 AM  

fuck your couch

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Sunday, April 23, 2006 1:35:00 AM  

Wow. That doesn't even remotely make sense.

By  Brancibeer, at Sunday, April 23, 2006 2:44:00 AM  

i should give the communal laptop its own logon

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Sunday, April 23, 2006 11:45:00 AM  

Yeah you should. Those were some of my drunker comments ever.

Already got my plane ticket - I'm taking my turn in the San Diego area May 27-June 4

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Sunday, April 23, 2006 8:21:00 PM  

Barone?

Nice work Brain. youll be in top form in no time.

Macunas, beware of Zuleca, she'll want the man meat. Tell flores to have plenty of Mountain Burgandy on hand, its delicious. He'll know what im talking about.

By  murphy, at Monday, April 24, 2006 1:14:00 PM  

i've been in top form for years, no practice required.

i'll be sending the "package" out soon. 6 ports. i'm still working on the valves and i'm not sure they would be prudent, after a quick investigate on how the inside was working, i've realizes valves would get plugged shut because of resin buildup. might be a problem.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, April 24, 2006 1:21:00 PM  

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Rockstar Fucking Biologist 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/20/2006 10:27:00 PM

I was strolling in late to work the other day. Most people start at 7. It was round 8.30. I drove in to the parking lot completely relaxed, music loud, mirrored sunglasses in full action. Hair was a mess, shirt untucked, tea mug in hand, needed a shave. Passed a fellow workmate as I slowly made my way out of my car. He gave me a long look and a smile and said laughingly, "Your one of those....rockstar biologists aren't you?". I simply walked on, smiled, responded, "Fuck yeah", and disapeared into the office maze.

Rockstar biologist. I liked it. I hate to toot my own horn, but for stories sake, i will a bit. I am not like the majority of the fucks i work with. Biologist are typically nerdy, wierd, obsessed with nerdy or wierd subjects, pale (ok i'm kinda pale), boring, and just not cool. God, finding a normal biologist is like trying to find a clean restroom on the exit of an interstate; sometimes you get lucky, but most of the time you have to deal with what you've got. Most biologists are not very well rounded. They may be smart or quick, but most of the time they are severely lacking and clueless in many of lifes other neccessities (just like engineers). Whether that be lacking social skills, ability to communicate your ideas and opinions, connect ideas, jumpstart a car, repair an atv or operate a standard transmission. Many spend their lives in the weeds of research never attempting to gaze about the surface of it all. I however feel like i am very well rounded. Ok, I dont have the super computer brain or the obsession-like dedication to devoting my life to the taxonomy of the Aves order. Boring I say! But i have many things most of these freaks don't...common sense. And the ability to bring it to a universal level. What good are you if you can not relate your knowledge to anyone else, or to bring it to a completely different table? I see the big picture and do not get hung up in the details. Sure this hurts me at times, but I can understand the gist. Give it to me straight and foreward man, i can handle and work with it like no other. Gimme time and i'll give you a fucking gem.

I love my job for various reasons. One of them is the amount of resources at my very use. I have a brand new F250 crew cab 4 wheel drive truck that is strictly devoted to my position. I also have 2 broncos, 2 trucks, 5 atv's, 1 17ft rocket-like boat, a multitude of binoculars, scopes, radios, gps devices, cameras, camcorders, maps, books, winches, cell phones, computer equipment, hand tools and more at my disposal. In other words- I have more toys than a rich man on crack. And the thing is...I can rock any one of these things. I can plan a day to tow the boat 200 miles, ride across tough seas to an island while navigating with the gps, hop on an atv and drive the island, fix the the things that won't start, repair the flat tire, identify the birds i see, communicate what the situation is, do my job without a blink and be back by supper time to drink a beer. Most biologist do not possess these abilities. Many of them are either booksmart and clueless, or mechanical and stupid. I've got the books, brains, social skills, and muscle to get shit done. God damn it I'm good. I'm a Rockstar fucking biologist.

6 comments

and the good looks, don't forget the good looks, sweet rockstar biologist of mine.

By  sadielady, at Friday, April 21, 2006 12:52:00 AM  

maybe most rockstars don't drink tea, but what they do do is break the rules, rock on Branci

By  Damon, at Friday, April 21, 2006 8:08:00 AM  

Hey, i saw Ozzy drinking tea on stage...and thanks Damon, damn straight.

On a side note, Rockstar bio locked his keys in the car this morning. This is like the 3rd time this month. I'm really bad at that.

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, April 21, 2006 9:45:00 AM  

just use a rockstar pelvis thrust to smash the window in. works every time!

By  josh, at Friday, April 21, 2006 9:52:00 AM  

nice work branciteam. You should start wearing shirts with the sleaves cut off and get another bike-"youll never stop the cobras"

By  murphy, at Friday, April 21, 2006 1:22:00 PM  

Start?

I've actually been craving the motorcycle again. I do miss having one.

By  Brancibeer, at Saturday, April 22, 2006 12:46:00 PM  

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Holy Jesus...its 4/20 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/20/2006 01:19:00 PM

I was in the mail room sending out a package. I put the package on the scale...entered the zip and the price of the stamp was $4.20. I laughed internally and on my way out showed the stamp ticket to the younger secretary up front silently (yes, i know, very mature). She giggled as well and said, "hey thats today too". By god she was right i thought as i remarked on the previous date's memories. It almost got by but fortunetly fate played its role. Happy 420 everyone!

4 comments

We got the shot of the workermonkey at work over there. Now we need a shot of his home life. I'm envisioning beer, tshirt, relaxation, possibly a doobie. He deserves it.

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 1:27:00 PM  

happy holidays everybody.

i will be celebrating at my place later if anyone local reads this in time. its time to put the inventions to good use and blaze the neighborhood. i need three more bodies for the rumbler.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:34:00 PM  

i'm another body, and i'll be there! i love the green delight. crap, i don't know where you live... excellent-looking device, by the way. many props to you.

By  sadielady, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 4:57:00 PM  

thank you for the kind words, if you're anywhere near the northeast (CT)feel free to swing by for a test drive.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Friday, April 21, 2006 1:25:00 PM  

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

well, at least i'm good at other things 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/19/2006 04:44:00 PM

when was the last time anyone here tried to multiply fractions? i was trying to help hot bosses neice today with her homework and i couldn't do it. 5/9 x 2/11 threw me for a loop. i was defeated by a twelve year old. i can design the crap out of complex systems, but i can't do fractions. this is the kind of stuff that makes me wonder why anyone would trust me to do anything.

5 comments

is it 18/99+55/99=73/99?

By  NoBrainRequired, at Wednesday, April 19, 2006 5:12:00 PM  

you just multiply numerators for the top, and denominators for the bottom. of course the only reason i know this is cuz i'm taking trusts and estates, and the fractions for the intestate shares can get kinda crazy.

estate work is kinda cool. dead clients are probably better than living ones too.

By  josh, at Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:36:00 PM  

seriously, is it 10/99? i might be harming the children with false information.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 12:10:00 AM  

yes it's 10/99, though I wouldn't have known how to do it either; I just converted to decimals to check your answer

By  Damon, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 12:58:00 AM  

I had trouble ADDING the other day. I had 2 checks that i needed to total before i deposited and it took me like 5 minutes and i was still unsure. And forget about long division...

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 10:21:00 AM  

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the gears are turning... 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/19/2006 03:51:00 PM

i took a stroll through Mcmaster-carr today (its a big book full of just about everything under the sun for industry) looking for "parts". i now have enough ideas to keep me going forever. valves, fans, blowers, tube, fittings, stainless, parts to be converted, big, small, powered, i found powered solenoid valves and a small enough fan to fit in the downstem. I might just make one you have to plug in and turn on. my next forary will be into double-chamber contraptions. this one will be clever. While driving up and back to VT this weekend i had plenty of time to sit and think about stainless steel construction of a unit. i actually have access to al the stuff i would ever need to make one here at work. i'm just not sure what kind of design i'd like to do. if anyone is interested i can show you some sketches of my initial ideas. i'd love to make one for myself, but could it be possible that someone, somewhere would pay 200-300$ for a well built SS304 unit? it would literally last forever and you could stick it in the oven or dishwasher to clean it.

so far the responses i've gotten from this stuff has been very positive. i spent last friday night with my sister and a bunch of her friends at a bar in burlington. Eventually the conversation moved towards the green delight and this one guy named, i kid you not, Sunshine said he had seen the pics i sent my sister of the previous projects. i told them all about what it was doing and they were all amazed. i left a demo bottle with amanda to show them and results are great. i sold another little one to a guy who was also amazed at it. maybe there is just a novelty factor here but i've also been told that i'm not the first one to try stuff like this, i'm just a little smarter about it. i'm glad my engineering degree is being put to good use. now all i need to do is justify hiring my first mexican and i'm in business. hiring your first mexican is how you know you're successful.

4 comments

Just tell me when you need biological knowledge. Hmmmm...where could be go with that (besides the obvious).

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:00:00 PM  

i definitely think you can find people to pay that much. and sunshine, god that's classic.

hahahaha you'll be able to find your mexican until they build that giant wall. is this reminiscent to anyone of the 1970s-80s idea of building the huge space bubble over the united states for protection (i think it was actually called "star wars" or something)?

By  josh, at Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:13:00 PM  

i need to find a bacteria that will survive on the crap that builds up inside a bong. "self cleaning" is all i can think of. 100% natural.

i find it ironic the people we are trying to keep out are the same ones who would be building this wall.

there was a town in VT that passed a law/ordinace/something to build a dome over thier town. it was going to be marketed as "that town with a dome over it, the only one in america" kind of thing. controlled climate, A/C in the summer no snow, rain only when needed or on a schedual, no huricanes or disasterous weather patterns, water levels could be kept, a controled environment.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, April 19, 2006 11:03:00 PM  

Self cleaning bacteria eh. Not my specialty, but i'll look into it. That reminds me of those self sustaining sealed globes with the little shrimp and plant locked inside. What a life.

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, April 20, 2006 5:58:00 PM  

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

AL West 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/18/2006 04:39:00 PM

Continuing my little foray into future telling…

Oakland Athletics; Their pitching can’t be stopped. Zito, harden, harren, Blanton and a 200 inning eater like estaban loiaz in the 5^th spot. Plus they now have a great closer in Huston street and a kick ass bullpen. The only team who can claim to shake a stick at this staff is Minnesota and the A’s can hit much better. From some of the reports I’ve read, mark Ellis is apparently going to be much better then I think. Bobby Crosby just has to stay healthy to be considered an MVP candidate (he won’t win, but he’ll get a few votes). Adding Milton Bradley to the outfield was smart because it didn’t cost them anything, picking up frank Thomas was a steal. Thomas will add that giant power to the middle of a line up that needed it, but I can’t see him staying healthy all year. Watching him run around the bases the other day was painful, he’s not even walking right, how the hell is that ankle going to hold up? His best bet is to get hurt somewhere around 2/3’s of the way through the season so he can come back strong for the playoffs when the A’s really need him. Eric Chavez is solid and will be fine, hopefully Jason Kendal remembers how to hit for power, he’s gone more then 800 at bats without a homerun, that’s more then a full season. it’s the kind of record you don’t want and the A’s are rightfully dumbfounded at what happened.

I’ve already started hearing stuff like “this is why Billy beans stuff works in the playoffs” which is the opposite of what everyone has been saying for years, myself included. Its not so much that his stuff doesn’t work in the playoffs, it that he did a few things differently this year that will help. Picking up frank Thomas was one of the them and Bradley the other. They aren’t the kind of guys the A’s normally have. They expect Thomas to get hurt, and well, they are prepared. Milton Bradley is the kind of guy they normally would have stayed away from because he’s had problems and isn’t that great defensively. The A’s are going to hit and out pitch a lot of people, that’s going to get them far.

Anaheim Angles; I still refuse to include the name LA in their title. This organization gets a lot of credit for the stuff they’ve done and this isn’t one of them. Just drop the charade and pick one. If that were to happen, they are obligated to pick Anaheim, the contract says the team needs to include the name Anaheim in the title, it doesn’t say anything about adding other city names like LA. That’s the legal loophole. Either way, art Marrero has done a great job with this franchise. Snagging vlad two years ago was awesome but they need to keep his back healthy for him to stay on the field. Garret Anderson has fallen off the charts and is now actually in obscurity instead of just being underrated for years. Chone figgins should bounce around the field and play every position possible as that is his strength, he’s not great anywhere, but good allover. If Tim salmon makes it to the end of the year with this team it’ll be a miracle, I know he’s had a great start and spring but it can’t last can it? A regression to being old is over due. This team is going to do well. They are going to beat up on Seattle and do well against Texas, they may even do alright against Oakland as they also have a strong pitching staff. The real bright spot is that farm system where there are a bunch of kids ready to step up should someone get hurt. They have a weak bench at the major league level but they have a great bench waiting for them in triple-A. the kids are going to push their way up but this team isn’t going to hit enough to pass the A’s. they’ll fight for a wild card but come up short.

Texas Rangers. Well they went out and spent a bunch of money on Kevin Millwood because that what they have to do to get pitching. Eaton being hurt is killing them, and when the hell does the farm system actually start to produce pitching? Buck showalter has been here too long for this type of charade to continue. They need pitching and aren’t going to get past Oakland or Anaheim anytime soon without it. This team has a GREAT infield. Young and kinsler are a good DP combination and they can both hit. Blalock and texeria and stars and I would think you all know them by now. The outfield is a little sketchy, Gary Matthews Jr. shouldn’t be playing and neither should Adrian brown any more. Mench will hit a little and brad Wilkerson is the prize from trading Alfonzo soriano. The soriano trade was more about moving him, his salary and getting him away from second as it was getting something in return. Rod Barajas is fine at backstop but this team needs to find a solid outfielder and another good starting pitcher, worry about the bullpen later. I give them props for getting rid of David delluchi for something of value, Texas’s gain is Philly’s’ fuck up. I’m not sure how the minors look for them but this is going to be another year like last year for Texas and they’ll still be looking up at Oakland and Anaheim.

Seattle mariners; there is actually a guy named Jose Lopez on this team. Who the hell is running the Seattle front office? Last year it was Adrian beltre, this year it’s Carl Everett, Jarrod Washburn, and matt Lawton. Seattle should be bitch slapped for incompetence and genius at the same time. There are great people on this team like ichiro, Jeremy reed, Ritchie sexton and Felix Hernandez. While at the same time they have signed guys like beltre, Everett, Lawton, Washburn, guardado, and wee willy bloomquist to contracts that are way above what they are worth. Taking a chance on another Japanese import like kenji johjima is a good move. He’ll hit well and I guess there is a chance he and their pitching staff can both learn sign language to communicate, or they can just call ichiro in from right field every time they have a conference on the mound. Lets hope king Felix doesn’t get blown out like so many great pitching prospects in the Seattle organization. They have a thing for screwing up young guys. This pitching staff isn’t that bad (Jamie Moyer, is that really you?) but who cares. I’d like to root for some of these guys but the rest of the team just pisses me off. Ichiro should demand a trade to a winner for his own sake. He’s wasting his time here.

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Monday, April 17, 2006

# posted by josh @ 4/17/2006 10:59:00 PM

1 comments

That's the most handsome bat I have ever seen!

By  Anonymous, at Tuesday, April 18, 2006 6:34:00 AM  

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

My life’s work or my life is work 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/15/2006 01:30:00 PM

I can’t really tell the difference at this point. That’s all I do. Even though I do really cool stuff its still work. I do love it. I do hate it. I don’t have time for anything else at this point. Besides, even when I have time, I don’t have anything to do. I have some friends but they are the people I work with. See the trap I’m in?

It’s all consuming, and getting worse. I’ve been pulling 50-60 hr weeks completely emerging myself within it. I’m excelling and learning but I feel the other parts of my life are suffering for it. The stress and responsibility weighs heavy when much is on your shoulders. The slammer got abruptly fired this week. I won’t get into it, but I felt it was my time and place to act. And I took it upon myself to carefully engineer that to happen. I did what I had to for the good of all past, present and future. Some would call me Jesus. (You should too.) But you see its not just work loads. It’s taking another man’s life in your hands and facing the consequences of severely altering it. No matter how much he deserved it; no matter that it was his own entire fault. It’s still in my head, its still on my hands. Brancibeer is a fair, honest, and compassionate man. That’s why I did it, and that’s why it weighs on me so hard.

Now for the upside- Pictures! I recently did some bat caving. This was really cool. Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a cave surrounded by jungle-like woods on a warm dusky night. The cool air is steadily flowing from the cave onto your face. It’s getting darker and darker. The red filtered lights are all you have to see. A few bats scatter around, slowly at first. Then they are chattering and emerging at high speeds. Some inches from your face. The stream is constant (~10/ second). So fast so smooth so agile. If you stare at it long enough that it no longer is what you thought it was. This is primordial nature. Energy, life patterns, millions of years of evolution all moving together before your eyes. The pictures don’t do it justice. The black-and-white-type ones are taken in ‘nightshot mode’…pretty handy.

And in final memory of the slammer:

2 comments

Caving is cool; bats are sweet. How did you get your hands on one?

By  Damon, at Monday, April 17, 2006 2:22:00 AM  

You can get them with a net as they emerge- theres so many. And those aren't my hands. Only people who get their rabies shots should handle. The bastards have sharp teeth, and they flail like a child on a sugar tantrum.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 17, 2006 9:52:00 AM  

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

my latest creation 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/12/2006 01:23:00 PM

so this is my next latest and greatest. works better then the last one and this baby rumbles! plus it's built like a rock. i think i'll make more of these.

7 comments

Sweet moses

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:05:00 PM  

murph, i'll look into shipping costs.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 4:51:00 PM  

I'll give you 25$ for one of those (but you got to sign it too!)

By  Anonymous, at Thursday, April 13, 2006 5:45:00 PM  

no can do buddy, there's 25$ in parts in it (plus we actually drank it, the thing cost 20$). i'll let it walk for 60, anyone else is getting this no less then 100.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 13, 2006 6:04:00 PM  

Come on everybody, sing it with me.

"Now its time to say goodbye...
To all your memories..."

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 17, 2006 5:45:00 PM  

B - O - N - G ......

oh man I forgot that song. good times man.

By  ron, at Monday, April 17, 2006 11:20:00 PM  

I almost forgot it. But before i did, i wrote it down in its completion in my journal. I, however, did break the first rule by doing so you realize. But even rules change.

How i long to sing that song again though. Long live SM.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, April 18, 2006 3:23:00 PM  

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Samantha 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/12/2006 01:08:00 PM

I went over to the hospital to see megan a week ago today and these are the pics i took with my phone while there. the kid came out great, i think she weighed 3.7 kg, for some reason the weight was in kg and not pounds. ten fingers, ten toes, everything came out alright. and yes, greg holding a baby is going to take some getting used to. i also stopped by friday after work when megan got out of the hospital and greg was sitting there with the baby in his arms just watching TV, it was a funny sight and greg looked worn out. megan was still wacked out on perkasets but she'll be just fine too. she had to have a C-section to deliver the kid but she seems fine and should be good as new in a few weeks. congrats to them.

5 comments

Oh ok. Its still nice to see pics... Theres just something about it.

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:05:00 PM  

the pics "came out great" and your finger is in both of them covering up to 20% of the scene?

and hurray for metric! although kg are mass, and N are weight, while lbm are mass and lbf are weight, but only us engineering losers know that, and can you tell the fact that I'm reading a 1300pg physics book covering three of my undergrad classes is affecting me?

oh about the baby? no comment, my mind shall not go there for at least 2 more years, and 5 is more like it - but if it's cool for you, then good for you

By  Damon, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:55:00 PM  

AWWWW she's got Greg's scruff!

And good call on the neanderthal thumbs. Try to guess what our freaking Europe pictures looked like.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 7:08:00 PM  

yeah yeah yeah, my thumbs seem to be the star of every picture, bite me.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 13, 2006 8:10:00 AM  

thats awesome tell greg and megan I said congrats. In fact send me his number so i can call him

By  murphy, at Thursday, April 13, 2006 1:36:00 PM  

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Good reporting 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/12/2006 10:53:00 AM

Experts says sometimes big balls of ice just fall from the sky without any explanation .

Really....what kind of 'experts' are you talking too?

5 comments

they probably mean meteorologists. fucking meteorologists.

By  josh, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:14:00 AM  

Oh, theres goes Barnes again...

(do you really not want us to call you by your real name?)

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:02:00 PM  

the type of experts like you and me. i bet it was like ice collecting on the wing of a plane, or some idiots who made a really big ice launcher, humm.......

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:29:00 PM  

i dont care what you call me

By  josh, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:32:00 PM  

This would be a good time to announce that I'm engaging in the multi-weekend project of building a trebuchet in my parents' backyard.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 7:01:00 PM  

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

RIP - addie barone, 97?-2006 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/11/2006 07:46:00 PM

i found out today my dog died. my parents thought there was something wrong with her last night so they took her to an emergency animal hospital. the doctor found a tumor in her spleen and she was dying of internal bleeding. they started to opperate on her and she didn't make it. i've been planning on going home this weekend for like 3 weeks and she couldn't make it three more days. needless to say, i'm sad. she was a damn good dog. she got to go to camp yesterday with my dad and she spent a bunch of time staring out the window looking for rabbits, her two favorite things to do. my mom said she didn't seem to be upset or in pain so i guess she went out happy. i'm glad for that. i'm going to miss my dog. sniff...

4 comments

sorry to hear it, she was an awesome dog

By  josh, at Tuesday, April 11, 2006 8:14:00 PM  

Yeah that's rough. The mid 20's news: dogs of our youth dying, and people we kind of knew in high school getting married.

My dog died about six months ago while I here. It's strange for it to happen when you are not around, doesn't sink in so much until you go back and think, hey where's the dog?

By  Damon, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:14:00 AM  

Good ole beef. Man was that dog a spoiled fatty. She was a sweet one though. Don't cry because its over; rejoice because it happened.

Tasha was also put down like a month ago. If that helps any. Dogs are awesome.

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 10:58:00 AM  

i heard about tasha too, but i think she was ready to go. Addie was a little out of the blue, she was as old as 11 by some accounts and she seemed healthy. when my mom was trying to tell me over the phone i didn't know she was talking about the dog, i was a little more upset because i thought she was talking about my grandmother, who has also been sick. i was upset and relieved at the same time. going home is going to be different without my little beefy getting all excited and jumping around all over the place.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:20:00 PM  

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maybe you knew 

# posted by josh @ 4/11/2006 04:53:00 PM

hey, some or all of you may not know/care, but cristina tellechea got engaged. i know there have been a bunch of weddings/engagements in our class, but i post this cuz i know, like myself, some of you were friends with her in high school.

i dont know, so take that for what its worth. just thought i'd pass it along. i had to find out from matt's mom that ferraro has a kid. whoa.


anyway, for those of you who dont read my blog, things are...going. 2 weeks of class left, then 3 weeks of finals. dominique's coming here for easter weekend, so that'll be an awesome way to kick all that off before i really get down to business. still dont have a job, but not for a lack of effort. lets not talk about that. parents are well, sister is well (no comments necessary, ahem, damon, brancy). haha. baseball is back, and its golf season here again

all in all, life is fuckin sweet

4 comments

yeah i've got some pictures of the kid, Greg is a father as of monday the 3rd. healthy little samantha.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, April 11, 2006 7:59:00 PM  

Pictures..pffff...all those babies look the same anyway. I'm happy for Christina and Gregg though. Christina was always so nice, i'm glad she found someone.

This makes me think what the priority is in my life. Whats priority in yours?

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:01:00 AM  

beef, bitches and booze. all a man will ever need. priorities? not getting arrested, and ummm.... i want to make money. lots of it. very quickly. the lotto looks like a good option.

some of this stuff, you can't think about, it'll just happen. wife, kids, tornados. this shit just happens. if you start worrying about getting married or having kids or what ever, you'll end up making bad decisions and rushing into a marrage or a kid and fuck them both up. right now we're still young, and we seem to be pretty smart compared to the rest of hte world. we should be having fun while doing small shit for our futures. if you're not happy with what your doing or where you are or who your friends are or the guy next door... just go. pick up and leave. move on to the next situation and hope thats better. i did it, i told my boss to fuck off and he fired me, so i picked up and moved on. everyone was all pissed and confused why i did it, well fuck um, it ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me. i fucked around for ten months and saw the world, on uncle sam's dime. now i have a better job and i make more money. we're young and we can use that to our advantage. fuck priorities.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 4:50:00 PM  

getting laid

By  murphy, at Thursday, April 13, 2006 1:45:00 PM  

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Monday, April 10, 2006

NL East: 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/10/2006 09:37:00 PM

Atlanta Braves: this division is theirs. Period. It’s like picking the royals to finish last. Not hard. All those kids who showed up last year are back. Chipper is healthy, Andrew Jones is still king, Hudson is fine, smoltz is going to pitch forever and bobby cox is still alive. They may find a hole in the bullpen but they have a bunch of young kids who can fill the gap. Plus, bobby cox works magic every year. This team is young again and is still competing. Hampton isn’t going to pitch much this year so he may finally be done. They do need another starter to step up but may have the right piece in the farm system. The braves haven’t ceased to amaze with what they have in the minors. They’ve built a great organization with a deep farm system and they’ve been winning for years. It’s theirs until proven otherwise.

New York Mets (wild card); hey look who the Mets picked up this year! Delgado, loduca, Wagner, and Xavier nady. Jorge Julio was a steal, and Chad Bradford is still effective. Now they have a real catcher, an actual first base and a bonafide closer. Talk about plugging holes. Beltran should be much better this year if his face isn’t still fucked up, that collision with mike Cameron was brutal. Pedro might be a problem as that toe doesn’t bode well for holding up over the course of the season. Glavine, just retire man, just go. Victor zambrano fills out the back of the rotation which looks ok. The national league is weak this year and this is a team of vets and pros who can still get it done enough to make the playoffs. They won’t beat the braves but they are going to clean up playing the marlins and nationals 40 times this year. Both teams are super weak (the marlins after a ’97 fire sale redux and the nationals due to ignorance and MLB owning them). The Mets will get killed if a few people miss a lot of time. They need Delgado to hit and Reyes to bet somewhere but leadoff. Kaz matsui is now fighting for a job and hopefully gets a quick hook before he hurts the team. The Mets benefit by having all the NL central teams knock each other off and sneak into the playoff with a wildcard. oh forgot david wright, he's sweet plays third and could be an allstar.

Philadelphia Phillies; they have some really good player here which would be a great core to a good team. Chase Utley is sweet, bobby abreau is a superstar, jimmy Rollins can hit, Ryan Howard is going to mash, pat Burrell continues to hit and mike liberthal is a solid backstop. But who the fuck lets Billy Wagner walk out of town? It must be the same lunatic who thought tom Gordon was going to be the answer. The phillies have mad some good move and some equally stupid moves. Picking up David delluici for a good young arm was bad; snagging aron rowand from the white sox was good. Getting rid of Jim thome was good, tom Gordon, bad. If they paid attention to a lousy pitching staff they might be able to mess with the Mets this year. They have some great talent to build around but they need to compliment it with good pitching and they haven’t done much to help them selves. An other year of spectacular mediocrity.

Washington nationals: I wish MLB would fix this. Just sell the team and get the stadium built. This is a club which has undergone so much crap the last few years I’m amazed they are going to do this good. Last years time at the top was a joke as it was a statistical abnormality. They were allowing more runs then they were scoring but winning a few close games. This made for a temporary spike early in the season that was corrected over the course of 162 games. Basically, the laws of nature balanced them out and threw the nationals back into the cellar where they belong. Poor soriano, all he wants to do is finish his career as a second baseman so he can have a legitimate chance at the hall of fame. A few more years at second base and he can surpass a few hall of famers in career stats for HR’s RBI’s and some other stuff. He’d have a good chance. Moving to the outfield kills his chances as his hitting at a notoriously weak offensive position like second was his claim to fame. In the outfield he’s just another guy and his numbers aren’t nearly as impressive when compared to your standard corner outfielders. Nick Johnson isn’t ever going to stay healthy enough to be great but he’s good when I nt he lineup. Vidro needs play well or soriano might have his chance to move back to second. Livan Hernandez should be cut up into little pieces and studied because not pitcher in the history of baseball has had as much abuse as him. He’s some kind of freak of nature with a rubber elbow. He can throw a million pitches and feel fine. If his arm suddenly falls off on the mound, don’t be surprised. This team has no pitching, and a bunch of holes in the lineup. MLB is still running the team so nothing major was really accomplished. Getting soriano was a mistake and they’d rather have the players they traded for him back. Ok well. I feel sorry for any of the players who’ve been there more then 3 years, it’s been a long ride.

Florida marlins: I’d name a few of these guys, but you wouldn’t know them. They got rid of everyone and brought back a massive pool of prospects. In two years, they might be scary, this year, they’re fucked. These kids need to learn and develop. Florida is left waiting. Dontrell would be smart to pitch half assed this year and not get hurt as his season is a wash before it even starts. Miguel Cabrera is another superstar but he’s not going to get noticed with this cast around him. The marlins did OK with all the kids they brought back but the real booty might be in the draft picks they received for losing guys like AJ Burnett. It’ll be a few year before it makes a difference, but its well worth it. Forget about this team this year, they are just fodder for the rest of the league.

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monday bump 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/10/2006 11:32:00 AM

i've got an early day coming up tomarrow. i've got to be in randolph MA at 7:30 for an ASME training seminar. It'll take about 2 hours to get up there so i'll be leaving my house at about 5;30 give or take. that means i'm up at 4:45 (this hurts just typing it) so i can fall asleep in the shower. now on a 2 hours morning trip i like to do as much as i can in the car. i eat, drink coffee, i have an electric razor with a car adapter so i can shave too, if i know the trip is going to be long or not important, i'll roll a pair of fatty's too, one for the ride up and one for the ride back. i can't get dressed in the car, i've tried. walking out to the car in a bathrobe freeballing it is going to get me noticed or arrested (cause of my MASSIVE junk). getting my pants on is the hardest part, i can handle most of the other stuff like shirt and socks (which present thier own problems). i've brushed my teeth in the car before, not too hard, keep a bottle of water handy and just spit out the window. if you have a towel you can wash up too, use the same bottle of water to splash yourself. sure the car gets a little wet, but its only water. deoderant is cake. All this leads to less time i have to get up before i need to hit the pavement. at a bear minimum it'll take the 2 hours to get there, anything before that is me not having my act togeather, if i can do this shit in the car why not. Anyone think of something i'm missing?

8 comments

What about your daily morning hangover dump? Ha ha.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 10, 2006 11:56:00 AM  

"i cant get dressed in the car, i've tried."

i dont like the word "cant." i think you can do it. if you can smoke a fatty, cure the munchies with breakfast, brush your teeth, shave, and wash up, then you can get dressed. keep stretching it to new heights buddy. flip off a few bad drivers and you've got it made.

By  josh, at Monday, April 10, 2006 1:48:00 PM  

you ever try to put pants on while driving in traffic on 84? harder then it sounds without killing myself. i flip off bad drivers all the time, i even flip off good drivers that fuck up and do something stupid.

the DMHD comes out whenever it feels like it. most of the time its right after i shower. and that is a rock in the schedual, the only thing that can change that is quick stop at a highway reststop. matt barone, defiler of the public restroom. i've dumped in just about every rest stop in the northeast. I prefer the new VT welcome center. very nice and clean.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, April 10, 2006 2:22:00 PM  

put the car and cruise and steer with your knees-i gotten fully undressed and redressed in a different outfit while driving, this was when i was still driving the 'black ass'. Keep tryin

By  murphy, at Monday, April 10, 2006 5:05:00 PM  

'in cruise' that is...

By  murphy, at Monday, April 10, 2006 5:06:00 PM  

Yeah, and we all remember what happened to blackass don't we? Blackass!!

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 10, 2006 5:21:00 PM  

What about turnpike traffic? Cutting it a bit close aren't we?

By  ron, at Monday, April 10, 2006 9:19:00 PM  

not that early

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, April 10, 2006 9:40:00 PM  

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Springtime and the livins easy 

# posted by murphy @ 4/10/2006 10:10:00 AM

Ski mountain closes in two days and Ill be working two days a week at the bar instead of three. Between that and my tax return I should be able to stretch myself till the summer without getting another job.

Got some folks planning on visiting throughout the summer. Hungerforce and Red Barone the bongmaker are coming sometime in june. Flores is thinking of coming whenever with a troop of his San Diego folks. RPL3k may tack himself on with team HungerBong but i doubt it. Kayte (Vermont Joe's ex-girlfriend) is supposedly making a solo visit in june as well-no comment.
The most important however is my Brother Cain from Down Unda. If he makes the trip to the W.W.West than Ill end up in rehab, which is where i need to be right now-Going on 36 hours of no booze? Its about time for my morning caucasion-juskiding

Anyways...

Looks to be another good summer on the river. Flows are projected at about 175% of last year which means some high water and huge rapids. If anyone is interested in visiting let me know or contact the people coming and tack on to their trips. I can absolutly guarentee that it will be the most fun you will EVER have. Come and get drunk, crazy and laid in MT.

In other news, me and flores were trying to organize some sort of college reunion in the near future i have contacted as many people as i can and need your help. First on spreading the word, second on ideas and locations and finally actually sticking to the plan we create and going through with it. I sick of bullshit excuses like i got no money. im the poorest one out of all of us hands down. And when i say 'college reunion' im not excluding the HK folks like Damon, Josh, Jesse, Bergan or anyone else who wants to come. My vision is kind of an anuall weekend trip to a new place every year-like a festival of sorts.

Keep on rockin folks-dont get soft on me this summer chasing the muff around.

Love Murphy

5 comments

I think an occasional reunion of sorts is a fantastic idea. It will be very hard to organize and commit to, but hey if your in charge, i'm not worrying about it (sarcasm included). But seriously, Brancibeer T. Hungerforce gives you his utmost committment

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 10, 2006 11:55:00 AM  

For those of us outside it, it probably depends on the specifics, because while I, like you, think it'd be super to throw parties with everyone I have ever been friends with, I realize it'd only be super for me. Most of them wouldn't know more than a few people there. That is not exactly the case with your idea, but you might see why we non-Uconn folks may not be so excited about it.

By  Damon, at Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:25:00 AM  

Im not trying to center this around myself, Its not a murphyfest. Im trying to set something up where people can go and have a good time one week or long weekend a year in a different location. Its just a chance to see some folks you havent seen in a while. And who cares if everyone knows everyone else, you can meet some new people at the same time. I want this to grow beyond me

By  murphy, at Tuesday, April 11, 2006 4:01:00 PM  

Indeed. I just meant that at this stage it is more interesting for those who'll see a lot of people they haven't seen in awhile, than for those who haven't seen the people ever. But surely if it grows to eveyone'sfest, it'll be sick. A week, my my, warn the people in detox.

By  Damon, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:09:00 AM  

Consider them warned. Lets plan on the Hungerforce compound in 2012.

(Hey...give me some time man)

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:04:00 AM  

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Friday, April 07, 2006

This is still where I live 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/07/2006 03:28:00 PM

There are some advantages to living in the dirty. Well, i guess its an advantage- Redneck mechanics. Theres plenty of them to go around. These guys love, i mean love, working on trucks. Once and a while when we get stuck or need something done we call on these greasy hill trolls to get us unstuck, or to bang the shit out of something (get it done). The further out you are in the county...the further out these guys are. I tend to avoid them when i can. 1) I can't really understand what the hell they are saying. They talk to me and i am able to catch maybe 1/5 words spoken. This proves to be difficult and often results in many frustrated hand gestures between the two of us. I have better luck speaking spanish in a chinese restaurant. 2) I dont enjoy bullshiting for atleast 30 mins about huntin, trucks, or freedom. This is a courtesy one must endure when attempting to leave their shops. Its mind numbing to me, but I put up with it for the sake of keeping good relations.

Anyway, i was frequenting our local redneck mechanic the other day. We received a very high estimate on one of our trucks from a professional business shop. So I decided to check with the redneck to compare prices. I arrived at the dirt driveway and pulled up to his garage. The outside is littered with old parts of vehicles along with a dilapidated swing set (which the 2 youngins were playing on). You know....typical. The redneck mechanic was busy (bullshiting) with another customer. This guy is the point of my story. Well, who else uses redneck mechanics you may ask? More rednecks! This customer was probably the most stereotypical redneck i ever saw. He was big, wore a wife beater, had a mullettude factor of about 6 and was juicing a huge wad in his cheek. A tattoo on his right arm depicted a confederate flag crossed by some guns. Encircling around this scene were the words, "100% Redneck". I couldnt quite make out the tattoo on the other arm. But the word "Fuck" started crookedly on his bicep and the rest ran up his arm under his sleeve. Both tattoos were, of course, fuzzy and poorly done (most likely the work of a close friend on a late Tuesday night after a heavy day of shootin and drinkin). I kid you not. This was the scene. Apparently i made the redneck uneasy by staring at him for so long. I sensed this and immediately turned away and began fumbling with my truck to blend in. It worked.

Oh, and how much did the redneck mechanic eventually charge me? $10. He got it done.

6 comments

not quite up to the level you're dealing with but i can find those ind of rednecks in VT all over the place. One is a friend of ours, Robert. they get shit done, its not always right or good, but it gets done. They are very helpful people, good people too. you just have to treat them a little....well, treat them as if they are simple. no big words, that confuses them and confusion leads to anger. keep it simple and they won't bullshit you if you don't bullshit them.

thats also a mulletitude factor to be proud of. 10$? what the hell was the problem?

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Friday, April 07, 2006 4:16:00 PM  

Matt is right, I was going to mention the guy that fixes a hole in my exhaust system just by cutting it open, putting in a similarly sized cylinder to overlap the broken area, then welding it all back. Done at his house, in under a half hour, and for yes $10. I am not sure if that even covers the cost of electricity for the welder.

By  Damon, at Friday, April 07, 2006 4:24:00 PM  

"bang the shit out of something" - - - i'll say it again, help me decrease my tension and calm down some, branci - - surely you can think of a way!

By  sadielady, at Friday, April 07, 2006 5:24:00 PM  

hahahahahahahahahaha

sometimes i miss the south, but mainly it's cuz of the weather

By  josh, at Friday, April 07, 2006 7:04:00 PM  

of course when you get your car back, there's the "redneck stench" to get out.

By  JLee, at Friday, April 07, 2006 9:40:00 PM  

that is fucking hilarious. Dont shower for days in advance and get get a pair of dirty ass work pants covered in paint and grease. Talk extra slow and mumble. thats the best advice i can give you.

Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaa

By  murphy, at Saturday, April 08, 2006 10:09:00 PM  

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Gay ducks out in Sweden 

# posted by Damon @ 4/07/2006 02:27:00 PM

Published: 7th April 2006 08:45 CET

In the middle of mating season, a couple of male ducks returned to a park in southern Sweden, for the third consecutive year, ignoring the siren calls of all the lady ducks around them.

Far from the torments of bird flu and temptations of the opposite sex, the two common shelducks appear only to have eyes for each other - in a sort of ducky gay marriage.

"We can state that they act exactly like a couple (composed) of a man and woman, the bigger one always defending the smaller duck," Lennarth Blomquist, in charge of bird management in the southern city of Malmö, told the TT news agency.

"Shelducks mate for life," he said, indicating that these two ducks have found in each other the love of their lives.

The Local © The Local Europe AB 2006
News from Sweden in English

I thought they would give a little more detail as to why they consider these two to be gay life partners. If this were investigated and published widely wouldn't it really affect some people's ideas about homosexuals and "the cause" of homosexuality? But it is reported so casually, are there plenty of other examples of non human homosexuals? Or is it only in far left Sweden?

5 comments

Ahhh, but this isn't the first report of this kind I've heard about. Theres a hypothesis that claims that synthetic chemicals and hormones are causeing this odd behavior. Its already been proven that the increase in estrogenese in water (thru birth control use in the last century) has caused some male fish species to start growing ovaries. These high doses of environmental contaminants have made animals indifferent to their mates, gay, or just really screwed up. There are literally hundreds of THOUSANDS of synthetic chemicals out there and we have no idea how they are affecting us, or wildlife. For a read on the subject lookup, "Our Stolen Future". It was an ok read.

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, April 07, 2006 3:20:00 PM  

You monkeys, you should know that there are other monkeys out there that engage in homosexual sex. Man sex, hmm... shit, Brokeback Mountain went on sale the other day, didn't it? Hot male sex, hmm....

By  sadielady, at Friday, April 07, 2006 3:52:00 PM  

oops, that didn't link up. here's what i meant to link to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo

By  sadielady, at Friday, April 07, 2006 3:54:00 PM  

Yup, monkeys are horny little bastards alright. Thats an interesting species, i've heard about them before. Well you know, its like the article says..."When Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitment will usually lead to communal sexual activity, assumedly decreasing tension and allowing for peaceful feeding."

You've got to calm down some how!

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, April 07, 2006 4:19:00 PM  

help me decrease my tension and calm down some, branci - - surely you can think of a way!

By  sadielady, at Friday, April 07, 2006 5:20:00 PM  

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George Bush is a Swede 

# posted by Damon @ 4/07/2006 01:32:00 AM

This article says GW has a Swedish ancestor who emmigrated to the New Sweden colony on the Delaware River in 1639. (the what colony? Anyway I doubt if this was news in the US) Naturally this didn't make the socialist Swedes very happy. In the forum that accompanies that English language news site, the following gems of wisdom can be found:

"10 generations ago.. that's 1 ancestor out of 2046, approximately. Big wow. What's embarassing is that it made the headlines at all."

"May we send him back to you, please?"

"You mean like "this one is defective can we have a new?"

"I do not think that swedish blood, when in USA, abruptly changes after some generations to resemble that of the primates. Actually George Bush's Ideal place is the Chimpanzee forests of the equatorial forests."

"Please don't insult the chimpansees they are really quite intelligent creatures."
"Do we have to bring shame on the chimps????"

2 comments

He's also getting railed:

But the president got a different reaction when he took a question from Harry Taylor, a Charlotte real estate broker.

"While I listen to you talk about freedom, I see you assert your right to tap my telephone, to arrest me and hold me without charges, to try to preclude me from breathing clean air and drinking clean water and eating safe food," said Taylor, 61.

"If I were a woman, you'd like to restrict my opportunity to make a choice ... about whether I can abort a pregnancy."

"I'm not your favorite guy," Bush interrupted to laughter and applause. "Go on, what's your question?"

"What I wanted to say to you is that I -- in my lifetime, I have never felt more ashamed of, nor more frightened, by my leadership in Washington, including the presidency," Taylor continued. "And I would hope from time to time that you have the humility and the grace to be ashamed of yourself. ... I also want to say I really appreciate the courtesy of allowing me to speak. ... That is part of what this country is about."

"It is, yes," Bush replied.

And now this "Scooter" Libby leak thing is biting him in the ass:

"The news has created a firestorm in Washington. Throughout his presidency, Bush has often denounced leaks from his administration and vowed to punish the leakers. The top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, Congressmember Jane Harman of California said, "If the disclosure is true, it's breathtaking. The president is revealed as the leaker-in-chief."

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, April 07, 2006 1:25:00 PM  

Yes I was just reading about Mr. Taylor's comments, and I saw the Libby thing this morning. It amazes how many times we hear about the president doing illegal or immoral things It is unbelievable, that Clinton got impeached for lying about his sex life (I'm told by a Swede he actually didn't lie, since he used a pronoun when claiming no sexual relations, not a name,) and Bush has a massive list of acts that could land him in jail even, but nothing. The only scary thing, is if we get a Democratic majority in November, do we really want Cheney? I think it functionally wouldn't make any difference, but the American people would get much more respect from the world. But I am getting ahead of myself, certainly the Republican majority will remain no matter the will of the nation since they will redraw the lines, disqualify the voters, and prevent observers, recounts, and paper trails.

By  Damon, at Friday, April 07, 2006 2:13:00 PM  

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

AL Central 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/06/2006 04:52:00 PM

The only certainty in this division is that the royals will finish last. The white sox, indians and twins could all very well finish in any order of 1, 2, 3. the tigers are getting left out but will win a few more games this year. White sox get a little credit for winning the world series last year and still trying to upgrade. This division is going to be based on injuries and which team addresses its biggest needs in the best manner. If the twins decide to hit and add a big bat, that line up looks much much better. If the indians add a front line starter, there is no reason they can’t win the whole thing. If the white sox loose a few pitchers or thome’s back flares up, it might be a long summer in the windy city.

Chicago White Sox; these guys will live and die with their starting pitching. Each one of these guys can give them 200 innings and they have brandon mccarthy waiting. The bullpen is going to be shaky and there is no relying on bobby jenks to be the closer, thus its even more important the starters go 6 or 7 innings every night.. Jenks showed up to camp 30 pounds over weight this year. Damn. This is basically the same team that won it all last year and they added thome and vazquez. Thome needs to stay in the line up and this will be a big test for their medical staff which has done very well keeping all the pitchers on the mound every fifth day. Locking up contreras was smart, but not for that much money. They are going to miss rowand in center but they have a replacement body in brian anderson. Podsednik isn’t going to be nearly as useful this year because he hurt his groin. His worth to a team is purely in his speed, he can steal bases and run down fly balls that most people can’t, but a groin injury is something he’ll never fully recover from and it will slow him down. When a speed guy looses a step, it’s over. Watch for his stolen base numbers to plummet. They are still the champs until proven different, but they win the division because they are the most balanced team here, only worry if the bullpen starts to get used a lot.

Minnesota Twins; pitching pitching, pitching. Santana and a bunch of other guys who happen to be pretty good. This team has the pitching to go all the way and a few great pitching prospects coming up like francisco loranio. He’ll be in the rotation before the allstar break. The bullpen is solid too. What the twins are going to have trouble with is scoring runs to support the pitching staff. I like the trade for luis castillo, he’ll plug up second instead of the 25 other guys who did last year. Justin morneau and joe mauer are their keys, they both need to hit because this team doesn’t have anyone else who can. Morneau missed a bunch of time last year due to freak injuries (like getting hit in the head with a ball) and hopefully can stay on the field. Tony batista should be replaced as soon as possible at third. The outfield is alright, they can play good defense and hit at a little better then league average. Tori hunter might loose a step because of his ankel injury last year but that only means a few less sportcenter highlights. This roster has depth, but not enough ceiling, they need a big bat in the worst way, which might be available to them during the season. One thing that is going to be different this year is I think we’ll see more trades, there are going to be a few more teams who don’t have a chance or are out of it early. The twins might be one of them if they really can’t hit.

Cleveland Indians; what was supposed to be a 3 year rebuilding plan is now in year 5. last year was very good for the indians. They missed the playoffs by, what, like 1 game? They’ve locked up their core players with great contracts through their most productive years. Victor martinez is a MVP canidate, hafner, sizemore and blake can all hit. Andy marte is for some reason starting the season in AAA instead of pissing on aaron boone. Peralta is just dandy at short and they still have young guys coming up. The pitching is going to be suspect this year. Their bullpen is fine and bob wickman never seems to go away. I’d have moved the indians up to second if sabathia hadn’t gotten hurt already. They are going to miss kevin millwood, who just so happened to lead the AL in ERA last year, (anyone know that?) because paul byrd isn’t a replacement. CC sabathia needed to step up and cliff lee needs to show he can do it in the big leagues. A late april pitching trade would do this club wonders. Once again they need pitching. Gee this sounds like a broken record, everyone needs pitching! I’m not sure they can get the caliber pitcher they need but a front line starter would put them into the playoffs. If it doesn’t happen this year, watch out for next year because these guys are going to be household names by then. I want zito in NY but I think he’d fit great in cleveland next year. Stay tuned.

Detroit Tigers; Who decided to resurect jim leyland? How many virgins had to be sacrificed? Does anyone really think he’s still capable of handeling a team? The tigers will be better this year, not much, but still there is going to be improvement. Jeremy bonderman has had his time to develop in the bigleagues, its time to put up the numbers he should be. Of course, he’s going to get screwed by a bullpen who can’t stop anyone and an offense that will help him only every other start. What the hell was kenny rodgers thinking? He could have made his money somehwere else and just kicked back, or maybe he’s just going to show up and collect a paycheck from detroit. That would be smart. The tigers have a few good pitching prospects and they’ve taken the approach that they should take their hits at the major league level instead of developing in the minors. Sure, maybe it works, we’ll find out this year with bonderman. A full season of placido polanco will be nice, and who knows, maybe magglio ordonez will show us that the tigers weren’t insane for giving him one of the worst contracts in the history of sports. Dmitri young should be the same and carlos guillen might be a nice piece of trade bait down the line. Can you name their starting catcher? Maybe you forgot that pudge rodriguez still calls detroit home. Who cares, hes no good anymore. It’ll be a long one in detroit but they are going to get better next year and just be a pain in the ass for everyone else.

Kansas City Royals: I’m going to take the Baseball Prospectus approach to the royals this year. If the oganization doesn’t care about the team, why should I? there are so many problems with this team its not worth mentioning any of them. It all starts at the top with their owner who would rather line his pockets then put a team on the field. Until ownership changes in KC it will never get better because they don’t care. It has nothing to do with money or a small market, they’ve made treible decision after terrible decision and I feel sorry for anyone who can still call themselves a royals fan. Not only are they going to finish last this year, but the are going to finish last next year and the year after that. Even the tigers have managed to go from top to bottom and even halfway through a rebuilding cycle while the royals have done nothing. Nothing. this was a quote from BP's Joe Sheehan about the royals;

" I apologize to Royals fans who would like to read analysis of their pitching staff, maybe see some nice words for Ambiorix Burgos and Andy Sisco. There’s no point; this organization would gladly swap out a 26-year-old outfielder with some upside who was clearly good enough to start for them in exchange for a 34-year-old backup second baseman. Why should I show more interest in their season than they do?"

3 comments

no one wants to talk baseball? well you'r just going to have to put up with this crap for antoher 4 divisions because now its about spite. i think spite is the best motivator i've come across.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Friday, April 07, 2006 4:39:00 PM  

Even your spite is boring me.

By  Brancibeer, at Saturday, April 08, 2006 2:51:00 AM  

No fantasy baseball this year??
-BB

By  Anonymous, at Saturday, April 08, 2006 1:12:00 PM  

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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

AL EAST! 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/05/2006 03:57:00 PM

Fuck march, April is here and that means one thing to me. BASEBALL! In keeping with last years tradition, I’m running down each team and making my predictions again. I only covered the AL last year but I did pretty well. I nailed the east, no one expected that from the white sox and who foresaw all those injuries to the twins? This year I’m going to try and make it through all 30 teams. We’ll see. The EAST!

In order of finish;

New York Yankees; Once again it’s going to be a two horse race in the east with the yanks coming out on top. This is going to be an odd year for them, the people who were old last year, are simply another year older and still being counted on to act like they aren’t. Randy Johnson needs to get closer to 20 wins this year and I would expect a little improvement from him, Its one of those NY things, some players come over and catch lightning in a bottle (think Aaron small and chacone last year), some get crushed by the media (see Jeff Weaver) and others just ride a funk the first year before they get comfortable (A-rod). Well randy is in year two now, so he should be back to normal. Mussenia is being relied upon to just be himself, but I expect a total meltdown from him, he’s been fading a bit over the last two years and its not the type of thing he’s going to get better from. The rest of the rotation is going to be a mess with pavano and wright in a constant state of injured. I expect the same kind of “find-someone-who-doesn’t-suck-and-hope-for-the-best” search this year with minor trades for guys like chacone and small. The bullpen is going to be a slight improvement over last year, we’ll miss Gordon, but not much. Dotel will make people forget by the all star break. Damon is being asked to be an upgrade from Bernie Williams, which after last year won’t take much. Damons arms sucks as much as Bernie’s but he’s faster so damon can still track fly balls in center and he’ll hit a little better. Maybe we can trade him back for coco crisp. The more I watch this team the better they look. As long as there aren’t any major injuries they are going to go into the playoffs once again the favorite.

Boston Red Sox; (Wild card) schilling will get over his ankle injury and pitch like he has the rest of his career. Something minor will set him back and miss a few starts but nothing to worry about. Beckett is going to be good, when he’s on the mound, which is going to be hard to accomplish. Losing damon won’t hurt this team in the long run, maybe a little this year as Coco adjusts, but they did the smart thing in letting damon go. They offered him what he was worth and stuck to it. Damon made crazy demands and the only team crazy enough to accept them were the yanks. That’s a win for Boston. Clement should be decent this year, he’ll eat up the innings arroyo was supposed to pitch. That was a good trade too, Willy mo is still young and can hit very well. He’ll force Nixon to be traded or shot, which ever comes first. TJ snow shouldn’t be allowed to step on the field for this team and they made a great pickup in Hee Sheop Choi as a back up first baseman. They need this because Mike Lowell isn’t going to hit any better then his miserable 2005 season. Youkilis will be at 3^rd by the all star break. SS is a bit of a concern for the sox but Alex Gonzales will be an OK stopgap until the trading deadline when they hope to pick up Lugo from the D-rays. Mark Loretta at 2^nd is good, belhorn who? The sox problems will be offense and fielding up the middle. people may actually want renteria back when they see the revolving door at SS this year. They also need to keep their pitchers healthy, and find a closer. They are going to score runs, not as many as last year but still a lot. The sox are going to struggle a little this year, but next year they have a good chance of topping the yanks with a young team and a few good young arms coming up.

Toronto Blue Jays: Yeah the jays spent a lot of money this year, but what it boils down to is only a few more wins then last year. They had a good pen before they signed BJ Ryan so he tops it off. Burnett is going to be their #2 guy and give them some good innings but he again needs to stay healthy which may be a problem for him. They have a few good back of the rotation guys like Ted Lilly but they aren’t going to compete with the sox and yanks. The infield is overhauled with Lyle overbay, troy glaus and a warm body at second. What’s going to hurt is this teams defense, the additions are a static improvement but Orlando hudsons missing glove is going to cost a few runs and a few wins. Watch as the team might win a few more games but have a higher ERA. This team needs to get more punch from young guys like Alex Rios, reed Johnson and Russ Adams. If Rios doesn’t hit and hit well like he should, he’ll be trade bait. Bengie molina is playing for a contract next season so he may be dangerous. If glaus and overbay can have good years this team can win. If everything breaks right for them they’ll be dangerous, and any drop off by the red sox will be a big gain for the jays. They have two front line starters, a good closer and a bunch of guys trying to make it happen. Don’t underestimate them, just have realistic expectations. A lot of people want to say they can get the wild card, but I don’t see it without a big bust in Boston or NY. Plus Cleveland and Anaheim may have something to say about it. They made a lot of moves this winter but most of htem are lateral moves, not really improving the club. they've got some young guys who need to perform or they will be next years casualties.

Baltimore Orioles; ugh. Their biggest pick up of the off-season was a pitching coach. They let Sammy Sosa and Rafael palmeiro walk, never even bothered to try and keep BJ Ryan and made tejada pissed. If I though the devil rays could stumble into some pitching I’d pick the O’s to come in last. This team is not going anywhere and if their second half collapse continues, they’re fucked. Brian Roberts might come back, but its not going to change anything. Eric bedard, Bruce chen, Daniel Cabrera and ray king will benefit from Leo mazzone and show improvement but everyone else is just filler and will counter act any improvement they show. Plus, this team can’t hit. Ramon Hernandez can catch, but not hit, which moves javy Lopez to first where he can’t play. Kevin Millar might help, but there is a reason Boston let a no hit, poor fielding guy like him go. Good luck Baltimore. Its not hopeless, they could get hot like they did last year but its unlikely. A few additions an they’d be right back in it. Signing Melvin Mora is a priority, sort of. If they sign him to a decent contract they may be able to move him at the trade deadline for someone more useful. Kris Benson needs to find a magic genie to rejuvenate his career and get out of Baltimore. He’s going to get killed in the AL east.

Tampa bay devil rays; do you want the highs or the lows here? The high points are the sweet crop of young plays the devil rays have coming up this year or already playing. They have 4 solid outfielders and delmon young trying to bust in. they have lugo and cantu up the middle who are both slick fielding and cantu is ready to be a monster. Huff can still hit, and they have BJ upton on his way. Offensively they are going to be OK. The rays also have a new management team who looks to be a little more competent then the last group of drunken monkeys. There are some chips to trade here and I’m sure people will be calling often as the trade deadline nears. Now the lows. They forgot that someone has to pitch. Besides Scott kazmir, they really don’t have any pitching that another team would want. It looks like dewon brazelton will be a little better after getting out of dodger town but they are relying on guys like cassey fossom and Doug wechter to get people out. They have a bunch of warm bodies who happen to pitch and should be replaced at the first sign of trouble, of course their replacement options aren’t any better. The rays have guys other clubs will be looking for and they should accept nothing but pitching in return for them. Lugo looks like he’ll head to Boston at some point, and they’ve been trying to trade Joey gathright for a while to clear up some room in the outfield. Aubrey huff is also moving to third which helps and it should increase his trade value. If they move lugo, huff and gathright this summer for even three decent pitchers, they will have a realistic chance to finish third in this division the next few years. They are young, and good. Now all they need is pitching.

4 comments

i've been waiting for this!

i think shooting trot nixon might become a viable option. i dont know how the ss thing will work out, but i doubt i'll wish they had renteria...cabrera certainly (yeah, i'm still hung up on that).

By  josh, at Wednesday, April 05, 2006 5:21:00 PM  

after watching Bard catch wakefield the other night, boston is going to miss maribelli way more then i thought. Bard looked like a retard stabbing at a potato trying to catch the knuckleball. the problem is even with bard sucking at it, veritek is even worse.

i keep rooting for the devils rays because they do have some really good young players. they just need to find some pitching to go with them.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 06, 2006 9:37:00 AM  

i agree about keeping cabrera

By  murphy, at Thursday, April 06, 2006 1:38:00 PM  

wait a minute, has anyone noticed what cabrera has done since he's left the sox? anyone? there's bonus points here for this one.

the sox did the right thing in letting him go, they added reteria instead, and he didn't have that bad ayear, just a lot of errors, then they turned him around for coco crisp and josh bard. not bad at all. i give the red sox a lot of credit for a bunch of the moves they've made. more so then most of the yankee moves. if they weren't making these kinds of moves you wouldn't have had ortiz, veritek, meuller or millar, pena, and crisp.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 06, 2006 2:45:00 PM  

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Monday, April 03, 2006

working like a monkey 

# posted by ron @ 4/03/2006 09:39:00 PM

I have been working hard but there's no good story associated with that. Just hours of clicking and some extra gas money in the check.

I added up my march gas bill. Between driving to work, fucking around and one trip to VT to pick up a road bike: 270$. So minus the VT trip and I'm right round 230$. For the sake of ease, if I paid an average of 2.30$/gallon thats 100 gallons of gas. (Probably less because i probably paid more like 2.50$/gal). Burn baby burn!

Brian, nice crazy bitch story. As a side note, the band Buckcheery has a new single out called "crazy bitch".

Damon, I dont want to hear any lip about burning 100 gallons a month. I'd burn 10x more if it was cheaper. How can a single person like me ever make a significant impact on greenhouse gas emissions? Someone should really look into that, but first we should study more prayer and medical benifits.

The sun is out longer, the biking hours are getting better. I got another bike, but I find myself saying, "things should be better, why aren't they?" I'm not really talking about my life. Things are pretty good, I'm sure they could be better (they all ways could, right?). I'm talking about other things like, take for example my visit to the boston museum of science saturday to see the star wars exhibit. It was really cool. On the way out however, we had to wait in line to pay the parking ticket (inside the museum, instead of in the parking garage). We paid, and they handed us another ticket. We then put that ticket into an automated ticket taking machine, that an attendant was "watching?" I dont know what he was doing. why why why? There has to be some reason. Thats the most recent thing that comes to mind. That and traffic. I hate traffic. My poor car is going to have a toasted clutch by the summer. I utilize the first gear crawl but it still sees 10x the wear than it usually would. Then as a result of being annoyed by traffic I drive really fast otherwise. I took the exit 10 ramp on 9S at close to 70 last week. It was awesome, but I'm gonna be dead if I screw that one up some day.

One thing is for sure, just saying "why" and "things should be better" isn't going fix a damn thing.

rpl out!

4 comments

I don't care you burned 100 gallons, I am just glad it cost more now. I wish it cost $4 a gallon or more.

That article was weird, had a lot of negativity, but tried not to sound too bleak I guess. More estimates that say the temp by 2100 will be about 1.5-6 degrees C higher , which is 1.8 times more increase than that article said.

A road bike? How did that happen?

By  Damon, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 1:57:00 AM  

Easy man. Easy. You are going to burn yourself out! I'm trying to tell you to take it easy on the coffee and working hours. Its just not healthy. It builds up inside you slowly then before you know it stupid things like automated ticket machines and traffic are making you want to burst.

Jesse, we could use some calming wise words over here. The monkeys are rattling their cages.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 9:47:00 AM  

I'm comparable to you on fuel, if not worse. You were behind me in traffic on Rt. 9 the other day - I could tell from the bike rack. Saw some pretty deft maneuvers!
I don't mind burning oil, because it'll cause peak production to run out that much sooner.
Than we'll switch to hydrogen.
Then we'll find a better energy source.
Then finally by the year 2300 we'll have figured out the power of prayer.

The geeks of the year 2300 will have t-shirts with in-house humor like "ask me about my prayer transducer."

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 7:52:00 PM  

A better shirt was in the MOS gift shop, "Vader was Framed" with darth vader's head on the front of it. I almost pulled the trigger.

By  ron, at Wednesday, April 05, 2006 12:14:00 AM  

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2000 years of research, advancement, trade, education - outclassed 

# posted by Damon @ 4/03/2006 02:15:00 PM

Did everyone see the amazing breaking news that prayers do not help people recover from heart surgery (they spent $2.4 million on this!?) Naturally, the powerhouse of scientific research that is the Christian Church within a day or two had poured over the report and the methodology, interviewed the people involved, replicated the nine year study and concluded that the study was flawed. (Do a Google News search for it, and just try to find the actual study among all the religious articles bashing it.)

"Yet now this touted study is floating through the atmospheric layers of the planet as if it’s the all-in-all. It’s not. The Bible is the all-in-all. Read it, public." This guy has an MSc in Religion, don't mess with my sources! Plus he says "I’ve spent my entire life in biblical pouring-over." So he is fair and unbiased right? He has a broad range of experience to draw on, and considers all viewpoints equally and carefully? (Here's a good time to note I am biased and generally look at info from organized religion skeptically and humorously.)

That's right, something written 2000 years ago when hardly anyone could read or write, when the world was flat, and when yes, people were sometimes crucified or otherwise killed for sport, is more of an authority on recovery from heart surgery than this latest study. What's that? The authors of the Bible didn't know what heart surgery was? That irrelevantent smartass, they were writing what God told them to, and He knew what it was.

"The Harvard medical study showing that prayer has no effect on recovery from heart surgery is shocking," said Dr. Yaron Brook, executive director of the Ayn Rand Institute. "It is not shocking that prayer has no medical effects--what's shocking is that scientists at Harvard Medical School are wasting their time studying the medical effects of prayer."

Amen.

5 comments

thats SHOCKING! hahaha

for a wonderful rendition of parts of the bible, see my lego post (leggo my...lego). legos act out some of the stories, and instruct you on such things as why women shouldnt speak in church, and when to stone your children. good times, and always relevant. not outdated at all. no way.

By  josh, at Monday, April 03, 2006 3:03:00 PM  

i think some (many) of you will enjoy this...its from bill maher:

New Rule: People who run everything can't complain that they're underdogs. To whit, this week, there was a highly-attended conference in Washington called "The War on Christians." Because nothing quite says "I'm oppressed," like the opulent Regency Ballroom of the Omni Shoreham Hotel.

Ah, yes, whatever happened to that plucky little cult, Christianity? Oh, that's right, they're 80% of the American people, and have taken over all three branches of government, country music, public schools, the bestseller list, and until recently, Katie Holmes. You know, Christians, I don't mind that you're part of a dress-up cult that hates sex and worships magic but the paranoia, that does scare me.

Did you know that the Missouri legislature recently felt the need to propose a resolution declaring Christianity Missouri's majority religion. No kidding. Really, you mean people aren't saying, "Gosh, I'd like to go to Missouri, but...too Jewish." In Savannah, recently, a children's book about a baby penguin who is raised by two male penguins - ahh! - was removed from the library for its homosexual overtones. Because you know penguins, in those tuxedos, with the dreamy eyes. Huge fags!

The Christian right are now officially the party of paranoia. Secularists are attacking Christmas! Gays are attacking marriage! Liberals are attacking values! White girls are being abducted at an alarming rate! You know, if you're going to be that paranoid all the time, just get high.

And the worst part is, the people bitching loudest about being persecuted for their Christianity aren't Christians at all. They're demagogues and conmen and scolds. And the only thing they worship is power. If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

And Jesus - and Jesus never said a word about gay marriage. He was much too busy hanging out with 12 guys. Now - now I know George Bush says Jesus Christ changed his heart. But believe me, Dick Cheney changed it back. The only thing Bush has in common with Jesus is they both went into their father's business and got crucified for it.

Thomas Jefferson called the type of Christian who trumpets his own belief in the divinity of Jesus rather than the morality of Jesus "pseudo-Christians." And that's who's running our country today. And since they thrive so much on turning water into "whining"—and get off on their endless pretend persecution, this Easter season, let's give them what they want. Let's go to the zoo, get some lions, and feed them Tom DeLay.

By  josh, at Monday, April 03, 2006 6:37:00 PM  

There has to be something wrong with the study right? I mean they must have been saying the wrong prayer or using the wrong heart patients. They should do another study just to be sure.

By  ron, at Monday, April 03, 2006 9:39:00 PM  

I know you're joking but, apparently this was the sixth such study, but some in the past have shown an effect of prayer, but have also been shown to been conducted improperly or have flawed design. I think we both know of research more deserving of those kind of resources.

By  Damon, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 1:42:00 AM  

Dicta- thats hilarious. I do enjoy Mahers rants.

About the study. Obviously it was flawed to begin with. Everyones condition is different. Anyway, Damon did a sarcastic enough summary to cover my thoughts. Well done.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 9:37:00 AM  

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

Dear crazy girl; 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/02/2006 11:52:00 PM

It’s not just me. Other people think you’re crazy too. Not ‘bounce of the wall’ crazy, or ‘you drive me’ crazy. I’m talking about your ‘unpredictable, immature, irrational, bipolar attitude’ crazy. I’ve witnessed you pull things from left field, right field, center field, and even infield to throw at me just for the sake of throwing something. It may have worked the first time, but now I’m on to you. Your methods of confusion get you by, but not by me. You intentionally hurt me because of your own insecurities. And when I confront you about it, you only sling more hurt. I’ve never done that to you. I know you’re on medication for this and that. I know your 33 years old and have not been able to get your shit together, or save a dime from you high paying job. I understand your stressful pains in life. But I never used such things against you, like you use mine against me. I accepted these things and I accepted you.

But I’m done with it now. Our relationship can only go so far. If you are incapable of rational conversation and reasoning then it’s not going to work. I can go 50% of the way. In fact I can even go 75% of the way. But if you flat out refuse to try at all, then there is nothing I can do.

It’s too bad. It could have worked. Well, not work long term, but we could have realized what it was and went with it. I was even starting to like that crazy look in your eyes. It made me like you more. You may be good in bed, but that’s not enough. In fact you’re not that good. Yes, you are fun but to only to a limited extent. You lack concentration and rhythm. Simply being erratic and loud only goes so far with me.

So now you will leave without saying goodbye. You will pretend that the good times we had together never existed because of a hormone induced stupid incident. You’re going to take your life and move it somewhere else while leaving a wake of craziness behind you. Not caring, not knowing. I tried, I really did. I didn’t want to end on a bad note. I was even willing to forget what you said to me and how shitty you made me feel. I was willing to understand, forgive and wish you luck on your way. But you’re crazy. And that’s not going to change.

~Brancibeer

10 comments

Ok, this was meant to be more humorous than serious. I'm taking the whole situation very lightly.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 03, 2006 11:51:00 AM  

Wow, I thought you were talking about me for a while there. Especially when I read the part about "good in bed" .... ;)

By  sadielady, at Monday, April 03, 2006 4:25:00 PM  

Ahh yes, now brancibeer has seen were some of my past complaining has its roots.

.... crazy bitches.

Whats murphy all ways say? They are all crazy but some just hide it better? ...something like that.

By  ron, at Monday, April 03, 2006 9:30:00 PM  

"crazy women fuck the best," isn't that another saying?

branci, i'm flirting with you, can you tell? ...

By  sadielady, at Monday, April 03, 2006 9:47:00 PM  

sadieladiy, sometimes the benefits just don't outweight the craziness.

By  ron, at Monday, April 03, 2006 10:26:00 PM  

awwww, don't say that, ron. sometimes it doesn't work out so well in the end, but most of the time the ride is just so much fun ....

By  sadielady, at Monday, April 03, 2006 10:37:00 PM  

That was pretty deep Brianciforte. She seems a little bit more crazy than most. At least you got out before she locked you in her basement for two days, spred strawberry jam on your nuts and had her cats lick it off. When the cats left the ants came. Now you gotta ice your... what were we talking about?

By  murphy, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 2:05:00 AM  

...If you want me to take a dump in a box and slap a guarentee on it I will, I got the time...

anyways branciteam hungerforce glad to see you cut off ties with your apparent 'beast of burdern'

Let me know when you are coming out. June is good because we are going to have some huge highwater this year-rivers projected to be 175% of last years capacity. Hell yes!

By  murphy, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 2:10:00 AM  

strawberry jam, mmmm, i'll lick that off.

By  sadielady, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 2:11:00 AM  

Sadie: Yes, i do beleive you are correct. You are good in bed...oh oh i mean...the crazy chicks fuck the best. But then its like ron says- you definetly have to run a benefit-cost-analysis on the situation to determine if it is worth the stress. In this case i played it cool while realizing the craziness factor was at play.
Murphy- I will get back to you about the trip...not the jam comment.
Sadie- I will get back to you about the jam comment.
Man, it must have been a restless night for all!

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 9:32:00 AM  

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BEHOLD! The wave of the future, the wave of the future.... 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 4/02/2006 02:48:00 PM

its M-azing, jack-tastic, the whole kit-and-kaboodle, orgasmic and classy. fuck the FBI guy, this one is sweet. tobacco use only of course.

6 comments

Holy fucking shit!! I can not believe what i am seeing! Finally finally finally you have come thru with something productive. An engineering masterpiece. Thats amazing! Let us know how it actually operates.

By  Brancibeer, at Sunday, April 02, 2006 5:04:00 PM  

show me the blueprints
show me the blueprints
show me the blueprints
show me the blueprints
show me the blueprints
show me the blueprints

By  ron, at Sunday, April 02, 2006 10:03:00 PM  

its a thing of beauty Matt, you are a king among men

By  murphy, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 2:11:00 AM  

works like a champ. hits like tyson on PCP, and its sold already for 120$.

"i'm not a businessman, i'm a business, man" - Jay-Z

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 1:37:00 PM  

You are awesome.

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, April 05, 2006 5:51:00 PM  

i am THE MAN.

no i'm not humble.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, April 06, 2006 10:50:00 AM  

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