The Workermonkey

Saturday, April 15, 2006

My life’s work or my life is work 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/15/2006 01:30:00 PM

I can’t really tell the difference at this point. That’s all I do. Even though I do really cool stuff its still work. I do love it. I do hate it. I don’t have time for anything else at this point. Besides, even when I have time, I don’t have anything to do. I have some friends but they are the people I work with. See the trap I’m in?

It’s all consuming, and getting worse. I’ve been pulling 50-60 hr weeks completely emerging myself within it. I’m excelling and learning but I feel the other parts of my life are suffering for it. The stress and responsibility weighs heavy when much is on your shoulders. The slammer got abruptly fired this week. I won’t get into it, but I felt it was my time and place to act. And I took it upon myself to carefully engineer that to happen. I did what I had to for the good of all past, present and future. Some would call me Jesus. (You should too.) But you see its not just work loads. It’s taking another man’s life in your hands and facing the consequences of severely altering it. No matter how much he deserved it; no matter that it was his own entire fault. It’s still in my head, its still on my hands. Brancibeer is a fair, honest, and compassionate man. That’s why I did it, and that’s why it weighs on me so hard.

Now for the upside- Pictures! I recently did some bat caving. This was really cool. Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a cave surrounded by jungle-like woods on a warm dusky night. The cool air is steadily flowing from the cave onto your face. It’s getting darker and darker. The red filtered lights are all you have to see. A few bats scatter around, slowly at first. Then they are chattering and emerging at high speeds. Some inches from your face. The stream is constant (~10/ second). So fast so smooth so agile. If you stare at it long enough that it no longer is what you thought it was. This is primordial nature. Energy, life patterns, millions of years of evolution all moving together before your eyes. The pictures don’t do it justice. The black-and-white-type ones are taken in ‘nightshot mode’…pretty handy.

And in final memory of the slammer:

2 comments

Caving is cool; bats are sweet. How did you get your hands on one?

By  Damon, at Monday, April 17, 2006 2:22:00 AM  

You can get them with a net as they emerge- theres so many. And those aren't my hands. Only people who get their rabies shots should handle. The bastards have sharp teeth, and they flail like a child on a sugar tantrum.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, April 17, 2006 9:52:00 AM  

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