The Workermonkey

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Rockstar Fucking Biologist 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 4/20/2006 10:27:00 PM

I was strolling in late to work the other day. Most people start at 7. It was round 8.30. I drove in to the parking lot completely relaxed, music loud, mirrored sunglasses in full action. Hair was a mess, shirt untucked, tea mug in hand, needed a shave. Passed a fellow workmate as I slowly made my way out of my car. He gave me a long look and a smile and said laughingly, "Your one of those....rockstar biologists aren't you?". I simply walked on, smiled, responded, "Fuck yeah", and disapeared into the office maze.

Rockstar biologist. I liked it. I hate to toot my own horn, but for stories sake, i will a bit. I am not like the majority of the fucks i work with. Biologist are typically nerdy, wierd, obsessed with nerdy or wierd subjects, pale (ok i'm kinda pale), boring, and just not cool. God, finding a normal biologist is like trying to find a clean restroom on the exit of an interstate; sometimes you get lucky, but most of the time you have to deal with what you've got. Most biologists are not very well rounded. They may be smart or quick, but most of the time they are severely lacking and clueless in many of lifes other neccessities (just like engineers). Whether that be lacking social skills, ability to communicate your ideas and opinions, connect ideas, jumpstart a car, repair an atv or operate a standard transmission. Many spend their lives in the weeds of research never attempting to gaze about the surface of it all. I however feel like i am very well rounded. Ok, I dont have the super computer brain or the obsession-like dedication to devoting my life to the taxonomy of the Aves order. Boring I say! But i have many things most of these freaks don't...common sense. And the ability to bring it to a universal level. What good are you if you can not relate your knowledge to anyone else, or to bring it to a completely different table? I see the big picture and do not get hung up in the details. Sure this hurts me at times, but I can understand the gist. Give it to me straight and foreward man, i can handle and work with it like no other. Gimme time and i'll give you a fucking gem.

I love my job for various reasons. One of them is the amount of resources at my very use. I have a brand new F250 crew cab 4 wheel drive truck that is strictly devoted to my position. I also have 2 broncos, 2 trucks, 5 atv's, 1 17ft rocket-like boat, a multitude of binoculars, scopes, radios, gps devices, cameras, camcorders, maps, books, winches, cell phones, computer equipment, hand tools and more at my disposal. In other words- I have more toys than a rich man on crack. And the thing is...I can rock any one of these things. I can plan a day to tow the boat 200 miles, ride across tough seas to an island while navigating with the gps, hop on an atv and drive the island, fix the the things that won't start, repair the flat tire, identify the birds i see, communicate what the situation is, do my job without a blink and be back by supper time to drink a beer. Most biologist do not possess these abilities. Many of them are either booksmart and clueless, or mechanical and stupid. I've got the books, brains, social skills, and muscle to get shit done. God damn it I'm good. I'm a Rockstar fucking biologist.

6 comments

and the good looks, don't forget the good looks, sweet rockstar biologist of mine.

By  sadielady, at Friday, April 21, 2006 12:52:00 AM  

maybe most rockstars don't drink tea, but what they do do is break the rules, rock on Branci

By  Damon, at Friday, April 21, 2006 8:08:00 AM  

Hey, i saw Ozzy drinking tea on stage...and thanks Damon, damn straight.

On a side note, Rockstar bio locked his keys in the car this morning. This is like the 3rd time this month. I'm really bad at that.

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, April 21, 2006 9:45:00 AM  

just use a rockstar pelvis thrust to smash the window in. works every time!

By  josh, at Friday, April 21, 2006 9:52:00 AM  

nice work branciteam. You should start wearing shirts with the sleaves cut off and get another bike-"youll never stop the cobras"

By  murphy, at Friday, April 21, 2006 1:22:00 PM  

Start?

I've actually been craving the motorcycle again. I do miss having one.

By  Brancibeer, at Saturday, April 22, 2006 12:46:00 PM  

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