The Workermonkey

Monday, April 03, 2006

2000 years of research, advancement, trade, education - outclassed 

# posted by Damon @ 4/03/2006 02:15:00 PM

Did everyone see the amazing breaking news that prayers do not help people recover from heart surgery (they spent $2.4 million on this!?) Naturally, the powerhouse of scientific research that is the Christian Church within a day or two had poured over the report and the methodology, interviewed the people involved, replicated the nine year study and concluded that the study was flawed. (Do a Google News search for it, and just try to find the actual study among all the religious articles bashing it.)

"Yet now this touted study is floating through the atmospheric layers of the planet as if it’s the all-in-all. It’s not. The Bible is the all-in-all. Read it, public." This guy has an MSc in Religion, don't mess with my sources! Plus he says "I’ve spent my entire life in biblical pouring-over." So he is fair and unbiased right? He has a broad range of experience to draw on, and considers all viewpoints equally and carefully? (Here's a good time to note I am biased and generally look at info from organized religion skeptically and humorously.)

That's right, something written 2000 years ago when hardly anyone could read or write, when the world was flat, and when yes, people were sometimes crucified or otherwise killed for sport, is more of an authority on recovery from heart surgery than this latest study. What's that? The authors of the Bible didn't know what heart surgery was? That irrelevantent smartass, they were writing what God told them to, and He knew what it was.

"The Harvard medical study showing that prayer has no effect on recovery from heart surgery is shocking," said Dr. Yaron Brook, executive director of the Ayn Rand Institute. "It is not shocking that prayer has no medical effects--what's shocking is that scientists at Harvard Medical School are wasting their time studying the medical effects of prayer."

Amen.

5 comments

thats SHOCKING! hahaha

for a wonderful rendition of parts of the bible, see my lego post (leggo my...lego). legos act out some of the stories, and instruct you on such things as why women shouldnt speak in church, and when to stone your children. good times, and always relevant. not outdated at all. no way.

By  josh, at Monday, April 03, 2006 3:03:00 PM  

i think some (many) of you will enjoy this...its from bill maher:

New Rule: People who run everything can't complain that they're underdogs. To whit, this week, there was a highly-attended conference in Washington called "The War on Christians." Because nothing quite says "I'm oppressed," like the opulent Regency Ballroom of the Omni Shoreham Hotel.

Ah, yes, whatever happened to that plucky little cult, Christianity? Oh, that's right, they're 80% of the American people, and have taken over all three branches of government, country music, public schools, the bestseller list, and until recently, Katie Holmes. You know, Christians, I don't mind that you're part of a dress-up cult that hates sex and worships magic but the paranoia, that does scare me.

Did you know that the Missouri legislature recently felt the need to propose a resolution declaring Christianity Missouri's majority religion. No kidding. Really, you mean people aren't saying, "Gosh, I'd like to go to Missouri, but...too Jewish." In Savannah, recently, a children's book about a baby penguin who is raised by two male penguins - ahh! - was removed from the library for its homosexual overtones. Because you know penguins, in those tuxedos, with the dreamy eyes. Huge fags!

The Christian right are now officially the party of paranoia. Secularists are attacking Christmas! Gays are attacking marriage! Liberals are attacking values! White girls are being abducted at an alarming rate! You know, if you're going to be that paranoid all the time, just get high.

And the worst part is, the people bitching loudest about being persecuted for their Christianity aren't Christians at all. They're demagogues and conmen and scolds. And the only thing they worship is power. If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

And Jesus - and Jesus never said a word about gay marriage. He was much too busy hanging out with 12 guys. Now - now I know George Bush says Jesus Christ changed his heart. But believe me, Dick Cheney changed it back. The only thing Bush has in common with Jesus is they both went into their father's business and got crucified for it.

Thomas Jefferson called the type of Christian who trumpets his own belief in the divinity of Jesus rather than the morality of Jesus "pseudo-Christians." And that's who's running our country today. And since they thrive so much on turning water into "whining"—and get off on their endless pretend persecution, this Easter season, let's give them what they want. Let's go to the zoo, get some lions, and feed them Tom DeLay.

By  josh, at Monday, April 03, 2006 6:37:00 PM  

There has to be something wrong with the study right? I mean they must have been saying the wrong prayer or using the wrong heart patients. They should do another study just to be sure.

By  ron, at Monday, April 03, 2006 9:39:00 PM  

I know you're joking but, apparently this was the sixth such study, but some in the past have shown an effect of prayer, but have also been shown to been conducted improperly or have flawed design. I think we both know of research more deserving of those kind of resources.

By  Damon, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 1:42:00 AM  

Dicta- thats hilarious. I do enjoy Mahers rants.

About the study. Obviously it was flawed to begin with. Everyones condition is different. Anyway, Damon did a sarcastic enough summary to cover my thoughts. Well done.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, April 04, 2006 9:37:00 AM  

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