The Workermonkey

Friday, July 29, 2005

I fear the morning 

# posted by ron @ 7/29/2005 02:35:00 PM

The last though through my mind before I sleep every night is, "fuck, I dont want to get up". I hate/dread the morning with such passion I'm calling for a boycott. Fuck it, no more mornings. I'll stay up all fucking night, 3am, 4am, whatever it takes to get my work done, but for the love of atlantis, I wont conform to an alarm clock.

I feel that my years of sleep deprevation are taking its toll. Maybe its just been the last few months. First on the list of things to do after my thesis is complete is to sleep for a week. Go to florida and see branciteam. Next I'm going to look into a European bike tour. I figure I can probably tour the US later. Europe is a harder trip once your settled.

now for the friday funny story
click here

2 comments

I've found large amounts of coffe, moments after waking up work well. get a machine with a timer and put it on the bedside table.

By  jesse parker, at Sunday, July 31, 2005 8:54:00 PM  

coffee machine/alarm clock? i think we have a winner

By  ron, at Sunday, July 31, 2005 10:14:00 PM  

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Too Much Coffee Man 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/29/2005 09:52:00 AM

I'm buzzing right now, the coffee at work sucks but it's strong. I've sent out a bunch of faxes this morning to just about every machinist we use in search of a quote on a few things. mind racing..... i want to type more but i'm so freaking strung out on coffee right now i can't help but buzz off to the next little thing on my mind. workermonkey indeed.

7 comments

Get a hold of yourself man!

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, July 29, 2005 10:42:00 AM  

used Vick's Vapor rub in the nose to stay awake during class.

By  ron, at Friday, July 29, 2005 11:15:00 AM  

A little white powder up the nose tends to work too. It got me through.

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, July 29, 2005 12:16:00 PM  

na man, salt doesnt work very well.

By  ron, at Friday, July 29, 2005 2:33:00 PM  

He means talcum powder ron. God you're so naive...

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Friday, July 29, 2005 4:56:00 PM  

coke

By  josh, at Friday, July 29, 2005 5:16:00 PM  

diet coke w/ lime, reg coke has too much sugar.

By  ron, at Friday, July 29, 2005 5:44:00 PM  

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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Keepin it stanky 

# posted by murphy @ 7/28/2005 11:44:00 PM

I dont know what it is about this town guys but its truly the wild west. The job as you might imagine is awesome. I had the best boat of the summer today, with hot twins sisters and three other hot sisters. Fuck yeah

I have upgraded my living situation from a tent to a shack. I had to patch the roof but its sweet. We moved the kegerator from the trailer to my shack because it stays cooler and we had a problem with temperature. Its like a 100 degrees everyday and real dry but im on the river all day so its fan fucking tastic. I sleep two feet away from a constant cold source of beer.

Yes

The women in Montana are the best. I literally have to beat them off with a stick. I have never been pursued like this in my life. Its to the point were im getting gifts from these chicks.

Complete insanity.

I miss home but Gardiner Montana is an anomoly of the United States.

Take care of yourselves

Ill call you when i get a new cell phone

when i get home remind me to tell you the cell phone story and the tent story

later

1 comments

Gifts from chicks is freakin sweet. The next step is Reverse Chivalry where they like mow your lawn and stuff.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Friday, July 29, 2005 4:54:00 PM  

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Matt's Music 

# posted by Damon @ 7/28/2005 01:40:00 PM

Hey I just went over to Soundclick.com and searched for Mattlock as Macunas mentioned to me at Harbor Park on Tuesday, and damn some of that stuff is sweet. After having a few Throne discs for years that I never listened to, it's cool to have the Mattlock mp3s for more reason than the fact that I know the guy who made them. I don't know if there's anyone who hadn't heard his stuff yet, but I highly recommend yall check it out.

Oh yeah and after talking about it for about a year and a half, I am finally leaving for Stockholm on Sunday until at least next June but maybe a lot longer.

1 comments

Thanx man. I'm kind of pleased that someone who's never done psychadelics can still appreciate my tunes haha. T'sall about the love.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Friday, July 29, 2005 5:01:00 PM  

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Not that worker monkeys aren't the best at this anyways, but... 

# posted by DJ Booze Piñata @ 7/27/2005 08:09:00 PM

Yeeooww I don't want to bump Looney's glamour shot down but this thing I found is too cool. Enjoy.


Be Down
Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes will be forgiven.

Don’t Say High to Dry
A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for a while. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping.
Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.
Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950’s milkshake with two straws.
Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor. Try to remember that 78 percent of a woman’s pleasure is about yearning. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.

Submarine Mission for You, Baby
Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on a vacation.
Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood.
Stat by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move toward the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head to the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run.
When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt. By now she should be dying for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. Stretch this phase out until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.
Extra Trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all know that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies.
Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.

Parting the Red Seas
Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what the Cavity Creeps are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PiL album That What Is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.

The Grand Entrance
Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these St. Bernard licks before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick).
This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive, she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue tendonitis.

Rock the Boat
Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being a ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss.
After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing-to of its life. Think of the clit as a tumor in a pile of earlobes. When you push down on the area, he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention on getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later.
Extra-important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.

Identifying the Clit Type
After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori; ones that enjoy a serious going-over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.
Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes, and sensitivities; but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning, but the only way you can tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach, but just do the best you can. All I can tell you is convulsing means take it easy and "Oh my God" means bring it on.

Clits That Need a Serious Going-over
These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an airtight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea of what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyways. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking.
As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.
Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Micmac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale.
Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multiorgasmic, you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down.

Clits That Don’t
Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here, pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on to the next chick.

5 comments

And yes, postings re: favorite or most interesting stories would be pretty funny.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Wednesday, July 27, 2005 8:26:00 PM  

what do you think this is? high school fool? if ya cant make a girl come by now you got some catching up to do.

By  ron, at Wednesday, July 27, 2005 9:19:00 PM  

Mother of god...

Having this story and then the Looney picture is freaking me out...

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, July 28, 2005 8:48:00 AM  

1. another classic, macunas
2. that alphabet thing does work on the stubborn ones
3. make sure she covers her mouth if her parent(s) is(are) in the house
4. no yeast infections
5. you sick bastard

By  josh, at Thursday, July 28, 2005 4:56:00 PM  

I laughed today whenever I thought of the Micmac Indian reference. Gold, Jerry.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Thursday, July 28, 2005 5:44:00 PM  

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No Phone 

# posted by DJ Booze Piñata @ 7/27/2005 05:50:00 PM

So my kayaking attempt wasn't kind to my cell phone. Situation still unresolved so don't bother calling it yet. Instead just say my name 3 times in a mirror. Or try the house line at 345-3432. I guess I'll start answering it.

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# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/27/2005 04:15:00 PM

hehehe... gaze at the wonder that is Looney P. Spunkmeyer

4 comments

That is some funny shit. I going to make it the desktop wallpaper at work! Good work guys!

By  NoBrainRequired, at Wednesday, July 27, 2005 4:51:00 PM  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH that is too f****ng funny.

By  NoBrainRequired, at Wednesday, July 27, 2005 4:53:00 PM  

Mother of god....

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, July 28, 2005 8:38:00 AM  

that really is some sweet resolution for a camera phone

By  ron, at Thursday, July 28, 2005 5:37:00 PM  

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Hangover Wednesday 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/27/2005 03:54:00 PM

hangover wednesdays are in full effect. i had a nice headache this morning and took a pair of monster dumps before work. The amazing part was that while brushing my teeth i suddenly felt much better. NEW CURE FOR HANGOVERS: TOOTHPASTE! now, hours later, i'm wiped. a few cups of coffee didn't help. and i've been slower than sluggish this afternoon. i've been getting though the day in pieces. small busts of concentration so that i can say i've accomplished something. but now its just time to avoid everything and wait out the rest of the day.

looney, the pic on my phone is sweet. i'm not sure how to get it off though.

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Monday, July 25, 2005

swinging cat 

# posted by ron @ 7/25/2005 11:27:00 AM

holy fuck I was laughing for like ten minutes after seeing this!

3 comments

2 questions:
-Where did you find this so i can share?

-How did you post video?

Damn, its kinda funny except that the cat smashed into the wall. It was a hard hit, but im sure its alright...

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, July 25, 2005 11:42:00 AM  

heres the site
http://www.jugglingcats.com/video/nokia.htm

and its not a video, its a gif image.

By  ron, at Monday, July 25, 2005 12:08:00 PM  

How about the belly photo, I heard it's top notch. Some one should post that!

By  NoBrainRequired, at Wednesday, July 27, 2005 1:23:00 PM  

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Thursday, July 21, 2005

Mood 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 7/21/2005 09:38:00 AM

Its one of those days again. One of those days where you feel fine but kind of shitty. I’m questioning my place, my purpose, and everything else. I’m happy for everything yet am bored and unsettled. The people at work are annoying me. Annoying me by talking on the phone about budgets, or complaining to a coworker about some meaningless bullshit at the gas station. These people here...i just dont know how they do it everyday. I dont know how or why. They get paid less than i do and they are here before me and after me everday. They do work that is even more bullshit than mine. I dont know how or why. I suppose i'm still fighting it. I cant get stuck in some shitty town with shitty people in a bullshit job. No fucking way. I recieve an average of 20 emails a day- 2/3 of which is just nothing. I cant get motivated to do any of my work. Partly because its not pressing and its stuff I have been doing all along. I worked my ass off last week too. I was literally scrambling 10 hours a day with no lunch until the deadline of 5 on Friday. Perhaps I’m unconsciously compensating myself this week. I’m saying, “You know what, fuck this”. How many more times can I review a fucking plan? I read the governmental jargon that I and my coworkers wrote over and over, but they do not register in my brain. My brain is not allowing myself to concentrate on the meaning. Instead it tells me it is unimportant, and instead, why don’t you go play an internet game. That will amuse us. Ive felt like a fucking lawyer a couple times this past week too. Having to write all these goddamn disclaimers, so assholes don’t knit pick and complain about this and that. “This map is only an estimate based on the best available information at this time. It should not be assumed exactly accurate”. Fucking governmental bullshit I tell you. I told myself no coffee today either. But here I am sipping the liquid quietly as I write. Hoping that it will change my mood or motivate me to do something, anything. I need something to help me. To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems. I’m hoping my upcoming vacation will help me. Fuck I need a break from work. Well, here I go all nancy negative again. Felt the need to rant. Trying to pull myself out of it ya know. It will be good to be back in CT for a week. Setback, Risk, dogs, woods, cool fresh air, friends, family, freedom of time.....ah that makes me feel better. I really do think i just need a vacation.

5 comments

i know what you mean about some of hte people at work. i don't know how they do it either, all the guys in the shop lead shitty lives, most of them make less then me and they are always getting harrassed about doing things faster and cheaper. the only way i've come to explain it is that at this point they've either been broken and have given up, or they just don't know anything else. one of hte guys i work with fits perfectly into the "broken" example. he's maybe early 50's, divorced, no kids,and he just comes in every day, does his job (which is in no way exciting) and goes home. he's kind of a pain to work with because you have to lay stuff out nice and neat for him, but hey, he does his job.

remember, thats why we all went to college so we don't have to end up a soulless shell of a human just doing some shit job every day. the emails- i get about 10 junk emails a day, all of which have to do with cialis and levitra. no viagra just cialis and levitra.

you work for the government, if you did a week of actual work, you're entitled to at least 3 weeks of solid slacking.

it'll be good to have you back in state, even if it is only a week.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Thursday, July 21, 2005 4:35:00 PM  

branciteam? warhol? cool pic.

By  ron, at Thursday, July 21, 2005 5:08:00 PM  

picture- 20 minutes in photoshop
Regarding emails- not spam (viagra). More like everyday BS work emails.
Update- feeling better and slightly more positive this afternoon.

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, July 21, 2005 5:49:00 PM  

what effect did you use?

By  ron, at Thursday, July 21, 2005 8:39:00 PM  

artistis --> cutout

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, July 22, 2005 10:59:00 AM  

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The post you've all been waiting for 

# posted by ron @ 7/20/2005 08:26:00 PM

PIG ROAST 2005!

August 6th,
High noon,

You know where.

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Another link 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 7/20/2005 03:21:00 PM

A yes, the infamous Ring King NES game. Those crazy japs must have known what they were doing. Anyway, I found this cool site about sex in NES games. Funny site. Enjoy Macunas.

1 comments

tiger balls, see that one? ha ha ha ha ha. thanks, brancibeer, ruin 30 minutes of work time.

By  ron, at Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:25:00 PM  

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Entry: Tuesday 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/19/2005 04:39:00 PM

As the end of a long day approaches, i sit quietly at my desk and wander the internet. Today's theme was the bigest event in comics every year, the San Diego Comic Con. the biggest problem with the show every year is that its the biggest event in san diego of all and the whole city has a massive influx of nerds. this year the padres happen to have a home stand over the weekend so the city was at max capacity for 5 days. hundreds of fat guys dressed as stormtroopers present thier own unique types of problems.

each year the show loses a little grond to movies and television. this there was a ton of really famous people there who are working on comic book movies. some how the strange worlds of comic book people and hollywood people have merged. Models dating artists, actors getting writing jobs, and creators pitching thier ideas to everyone. the wojekowskis' (the matrix guys) are adapting V For Vendeta as a movie. the script has leaked to nerd culture and it got really bad reviews. now they're changing the movie. i'm always amazed at how people who have no influance over anything, as a group, can change the fate of a project. when people start find out about projects at the earliest stages, and complaining, things get fixed. catwoman was a great example of how this didn't happen. there was no comic book referenced in that movie and no one went to see it because it was trash. forever doomed to be known as a studio looking to make a quick buck by exploiting a well known character.

i'm rambling. i ment to talk baseball. go yanks. 1/2 game up. please don't blow it tonight.

2 comments

Quotes from Con-goers to backup my lack of point:

Jimmy Palmiotti on con farters:

Ok, the people were in abundance and thought it was a given to stand around and release gas into crowds … but it is a Comic Con, and we have grown to expect that from time to time. A friend from outside the business asked me if farting was a ritual with the con, and I told him to go to a ball game when it’s letting out and try to tell me it’s any better. Stupid me … I’m defending people’s right to fart. Someone has to I guess.

Kevin Smith on star power:

Smoking on the Green Room porch, I’m thrown by how star-studded the San Diego ComiCon has become. Back in ’95, the first time I ever attended, the biggest non-comics name in attendance was maybe Bruce Campbell. Now, it’s like ShoWest Junior there. No less than three of the most recent Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress (Adrien Brody, Charlize Theron, and Jamie Foxx) were whoring their latest projects (“Kong”, “Aeon Flux”, and “Stealth”) to the Con crowds. It’s nuts how much power the geek audience now wields, whereas we could never even so much as get a handjob back in the day.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, July 20, 2005 2:31:00 PM  

about the back up of san diego traffic de to the padres game.

http://www.comicon.com/thebeat/archives/2005/07/san_diego_maybe.html

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, July 20, 2005 2:48:00 PM  

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Monday, July 18, 2005

monday 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/18/2005 01:04:00 PM

back to work, back to work. i didn't drink all that much last night but i still feel a little hungover today. i keep trying to catch up on sleep on the weekends but that never seems to happen and i only lose more sleep. firday i was wiped and called it a night around midnight, saturday i was asleep by 11 but up at 8, gained a little ground there but not enough. i think i need to start focusing on doing less during the week and getting more regular sleep. starting this week i'm going to start limiting the beer intake. i'm not giving up drinking (that would be blaspheme) i just want to cut way back or limit myself to the weekends for awhile. i need to get back in shape so cutting down the beer levels to slightly below severe alcoholism would be a good place to start.

as each week passes it looks more and more like every tuesday is going to be a wash. hangover wednesday should be a theme at work.

1/2 game back. go yanks.

right now it goes without saying that i've done nothing useful at work today. when coupled with my pointless friday afternoon, it'll be a solid day of work doing very little.

10 comments

i usually dont even buy beer until mid week. even then It's only a sixer so the damage is limited if i feel like indulging in all six.

or learn some self control.

By  ron, at Monday, July 18, 2005 1:33:00 PM  

Now that you're on "team Kolpak" you have teammates pushing you on during the week. Its hard to let the team down.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, July 18, 2005 2:15:00 PM  

i have no problem with letting down "team kolpak". my problems comes when i'm trying to sleep. friday i woke up to the ever popular "America.. FUCK YEAH!" blasting in the living room at 5 in the morning. kolpak and Jay mills were both passed out on the couches with all the lights on.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, July 18, 2005 5:01:00 PM  

yea, that will run up the electric bill. I'd be pissed too.

By  ron, at Monday, July 18, 2005 5:25:00 PM  

i was gonna say matt, i'm all for overcoming alcoholism, but not on tuesday nights.

tomorrow anyone (everyone)??

By  josh, at Monday, July 18, 2005 10:50:00 PM  

It sound like the same old BS chumpo. You guys got to have some kind of agreement or rules if this is ever going to work. Welcome back to the world of roomates. Theres good times, but lets not forget the bad times at 5am when youre trying to get some fucking sleeep! Dam you ron...i mean...uh...kolpak.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, July 19, 2005 8:18:00 AM  

Seriously, between living with Ron and Brian I was like Chief Biggum Smokum with the peace pipe. That reminds me we should all make up Injun names and then start rapping.
Tuesday night operations are proceeding regularly.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Tuesday, July 19, 2005 9:42:00 AM  

Ah the once mighty Chief Smokum. All hail the chief!

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, July 19, 2005 3:29:00 PM  

sleep on weekends is one thing, sleep during the week is another. as much as justin hates to admit i work a steady 8-5 job, he has no problems complaining about the one night a week he needs to wake up before 10.

hopefully he remembers i reserved the right to kick his ass out if i so feel the need.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, July 19, 2005 4:39:00 PM  

now that's a kick ass lease. or did you guys draft a constitution?

By  ron, at Tuesday, July 19, 2005 10:20:00 PM  

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

Faceplant 

# posted by ron @ 7/17/2005 09:21:00 PM

sunday ride on the mutant bike went well minus the incident on mile 6. first a little about the mutant bike.

I built it last night. I built it out of spare parts and its purpose is cross country riding. The trick bike and the trials bike never go off road and the down hill bike is way too heavy for cross country riding. So i built up a cross country bike.

Now, I wont blame the crash on the bike, but my unfamiliarity on the bike. It doesnt have the suspension as my big down hill bike, or the weight. On a semi-fast downhill section, things got a little sketchy over some rocks and I got launched. Face and shoulder hit first, followed by a roll.
Check 1: teeth - all there
Check 2: neck - craaaack craaack, all good
Check 3: bike - its still in one piece, sweet

After shaking out the cobwebs, and spitting the dirt out of my mouth we continue at a much slower pace.

4 comments

Nice job. You look like Billy Idol after a rough night in 1986.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, July 18, 2005 10:18:00 AM  

who wants to take bets on what ron's next serious injury is?

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, July 18, 2005 1:02:00 PM  

I busted my helmet on this one. No JINX or else you'll be my next injury.

By  ron, at Monday, July 18, 2005 11:21:00 PM  

Ron is Sparticus I'm telling you. But the next blow will fall to the wallet somehow.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Tuesday, July 19, 2005 9:27:00 AM  

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A hangover so bad.... 

# posted by ron @ 7/17/2005 02:27:00 PM

I had to wait until today to write it. So friday I head out to Ted's.. blah blah, drink... foosball... drink... foosball... drink ... foosball...drink... drink... wake up Saturday in the lab at 11:30. Check hands quick, good, no blood, I didnt kill anyone. Fock, my head is pounding and I know I've got about 10 minutes before I need to lie down again. Get in car and get to apartment quick. Drink 1/2 glass of water and fall on the couch. Wake at 2pm and puke up the 1/2 glass of water. Suprisingly I think this is when I turned the corner and knew I'd make it. Drank a bit more water and had a bite of bread. Continued to lie on the couch until 6. Shit, shower, shave, feel like a new man. Its 7 pm and I'm ready to start my day. What a fucking waste.

2 comments

start your day at 7pm? what are you, unemployed?

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, July 18, 2005 1:03:00 PM  

something like that

By  ron, at Monday, July 18, 2005 5:23:00 PM  

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Friday, July 15, 2005

as ron would say, yeah boyeeeeeeeeeee 

# posted by josh @ 7/15/2005 06:09:00 PM

I NO LONGER HAVE TO SPEND ANY TIME IN THE GODDAMN DIRTY SOUTH


today i got it. i got into penn state. which means that i'm definitely not going back to SC.


take that, inbred rednecks

3 comments

That's our boy right there. Fuck the cotton and tobacco industries, our boy is movin' on up to steelmills

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Friday, July 15, 2005 7:11:00 PM  

if you think there arent inbred rednecks in the middle of pennsylvania then you might be suprised. they wont be on campus though so thats good, its a mini city.

By  ron, at Friday, July 15, 2005 9:06:00 PM  

very true ron, but it's still very different from sc, and that's what matters

By  josh, at Saturday, July 16, 2005 1:05:00 AM  

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

Sweet Home Montana 

# posted by murphy @ 7/14/2005 11:59:00 PM

Hooooo ooooo ooo Mr. Breeze

Montana is the coolest and best place in the world

You will all be jealous when you hear the full story, but for now

I live with 12 unbelievable drunks and fashioned a keg er ator out of an old fridge- Animal House has become a reality

My standards for women have been lowered but just like BTO I take what i can get

visit if you have the time and you will want to come back

just know that i am in good hands and living the dream while you all are involved in the east coast bullshit rat race w/ stuck up broads that dont fuck

In conclusion save my spot at setback and stop being a bunch of whinny pussies

eli says that Montana is the coolest and best place in the world

I dont know how things could be any more sweet

bitches

4 comments

easy women/ sheep, whatever. its all good murphy. see ya on the flip side

By  ron, at Friday, July 15, 2005 11:09:00 AM  

The brightest stars burnout first my friend. And what i mean by that is that you should burn one while you can. You gotta come back sometime...or do you....

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, July 15, 2005 4:58:00 PM  

Nice to see Yonder Mountain College has been good to ya. However,
a) My 'east coast bullshit' has become sitting in a park ticketbooth playing chump's gameboy all day, and
b) I got high quality pussy on a low-maintanence broad.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Friday, July 15, 2005 7:15:00 PM  

i can vouch for macunas' (b)

By  josh, at Saturday, July 16, 2005 1:05:00 AM  

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Introducing.... 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 7/14/2005 09:00:00 AM

*Note- Brancibeer has written this piece out of respect and enjoyment of his friend. Brancibeer knows of this to be factual based on his experience with the slammer. For confirmation contact MB or JM. Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The Slammer is from Alabama. The slammer is the kind of guy who drinks and smokes incessantly, while not really listening to what you are saying. He will occasionally nod and say, "right on" in his rolling voice with his head cocked and eyes squinted.

The slammer is easily riled. He will start to yell for no apparent reason, and he may bang on walls with his fist. He has been known to howl, "Take off your clothes!" out of the blue. He is the type you would expect to get into bar fights and randomly kiss woman in those bars, probably on the same night. That is how he met his girlfriend.

The slammer loves beer, weed, and music and can potentially disconnect from the entire world when near one or all three. The slammer will break out in the song that is quietly playing in the background in the middle of your conversation. He will then walk away singing leaving you dumbfounded.

The slammer doesn't like to be peppered with questions. What are you, a cop?

The slammer is the type of guy who calls for, "Freebird!" in the middle of a Bob Dylan concert in Birmingham, Alabama. He loves Dylan, but you’re in Alabama god damn it!

The slammer will turn the volume ALL THE WAY UP when watching the DVD concert of 'The song remains the same'. His girlfriend will discourage such behavior but already know her words are not heard by the slammer. He does not listen very well and he is a stubborn son of a bitch. The speakers will forever be distorted.

The slammer will call for such southern delicacies as, "Corn bread! Sweet tea! Biscuts! gravy! Bacon! Pancakes!" In that order, over and over to the same girlfriend in the kitchen at 2am on a Friday. The northerner sitting next to the slammer concurs and joins in. The girlfriend ignores them both.

He does not like playing games or cards. The slammer likes to shoot pool and play darts. He loves drifting away in his head playing the guitar. He will sometimes get up in front of the mirror and do so while the rest of the party is still sitting. He may start playing that guitar loudly so you have to yell to the person across from you. He pays no attention.

The slammer is a burning liberal with some whacked-out ideas. Some of them are valid, and some of them are outrageous. Mostly he wants everyone to leave each other alone. What are you a cop?

The drunker the slammer get, the more Alabama in him comes out. Since he is not listening to you anyway, what he says will be irrelevent to anything. You will be confused when the slammer slurs something to the effect of, “Reckon so my pardon”. What?

1 comments

sounds like a real character

By  ron, at Thursday, July 14, 2005 12:24:00 PM  

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I'm back, once again, but not for the last time 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/12/2005 03:47:00 PM

i've been living in a few places (VT, middletown, josh's basement) and with starting the new job i've been all over the place (i've made too many quick trips to VT) and with out access to the internet except at work, where until only now have i found out its safe to visit this site. regular updates and rants will soon be appearing. i'm glad to see everyone else is picking up the slack in my absense.



i am batman (which i still haven't seen yet, ironic huh?)

3 comments

Good to have you back. Ron is boring me.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, July 12, 2005 4:17:00 PM  

dude, i'm batman. you dont even come close to 'bat hours'. i bet workermonkey boywonder here is in be sucking his thumb by 11. ha ha ha ha. screw you brancibeer, your hurricane evac story could have been way better.

By  ron, at Tuesday, July 12, 2005 5:24:00 PM  

Yes, it could have.

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, July 13, 2005 8:21:00 AM  

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Monday, July 11, 2005

check out my sweet bike video 

# posted by ron @ 7/11/2005 12:02:00 AM

i strapped my camera to the handlebars.

http://www.engr.uconn.edu/~larose/bike_small.wmv

7 meg file, rightclick and "save as"

3 comments

That is sweet. Monday must have been well spent putting together that music video too!.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, July 12, 2005 9:14:00 AM  

Also- for next time you need to keep the shadow in view so the viewer can see what you are actually doing. So they know you are pulling sweet wheelies all of the time.

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, July 12, 2005 10:41:00 AM  

Sweet is the word. Sparticus you truly are the king of kings.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Thursday, July 14, 2005 6:09:00 PM  

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Sunday, July 10, 2005

Mandatory Evacuation 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 7/10/2005 07:52:00 PM

Well, Kim the kitties and I decided to get the hell out of town friday night. This sucker was big and we weren't about to mess around. I'm all for hunkering down, but instead we decided to join the widespread panic and take off. It gave us a good excuse to visit Kim's mom anyway. From what i've read and saw the damage doesnt look that bad. Life should resume as normal in the next couple days. Its kinda cool living in a hurricane area, but i'm sure this evacuation stuff might get old after a while. I'll post any cool pictures that i can muster.

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

I'm hungover 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 7/07/2005 12:29:00 PM

And i am useless at work. This is a funny animation. You should watch it. I just want to go home.

1 comments

i think we all know that feeling. for how responsible i have to be at work i've been doing a great job of being totally irresponsible about my drinking/partying during the week. sleep is an after thought which is in high demand but short supply. and i'm back on the "team" so to speak.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, July 12, 2005 4:08:00 PM  

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

i see numbers 

# posted by ron @ 7/06/2005 08:49:00 PM

all day numbers numbers numbers!@#$!@ !*$ aaaahaahahh03182183174871092480

ha ha, no really, i'm alright, just sick of fucking with my numerical simlation all fucking day. i feel like i'm just wasting time but i know i'm just working out the bugs. as a result i've realized that by changing parameters i can make my model basically do whatever i want it to. moral of this post: dont trust numerical simulations without experimental results to verify the simulation.

2 comments

to kill time go to www.rathergood.com its the guys who did the quizno's commercials. fucking great stuff

By  ron, at Thursday, July 07, 2005 12:14:00 AM  

Rathergood is rather not that good at all. WTF?! That site was stupid.

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, July 07, 2005 12:56:00 PM  

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Friday, July 01, 2005

raise 'em up 

# posted by ron @ 7/01/2005 12:25:00 AM

Ah yes, beer. How can something soooo vile, turn into something so good. I mean, when I was a kid, I thought beer was disgusting. The taste, the smell, everything about it. Now I savor the smell, deep full flavor and let every sip flow down and soothe my throat. Soon I know that bright perk will appear in my eyes and my mind will be stirring with gitty opportunistic thought. Here’s to sweet sweet chemical alteration!

brian, you couldnt have said it any better.

damon, better check the tea stats, some types have more caffeine than coffee. as for me, caffeine junkie for life boyee! in moderation, i've read its not too bad for you, but i rarely excerise that. sometimes i try to lay off but it never lasts more than a few..... hours? my usual caffeine intake includes coffee (regular mug), some tea, a few sodas starting at lunch and ending at 4-5 keep it strong until dinner. After my post dinner nap i'll usually have a soda or two, sometimes i'll brew a pot for the night


josh man, i didnt even realize that you were home. I'm on board with you with women. I dont like them skinny pale bitches either. to boney if you asked me. they bruise way to easy, no fun to spank. i'm not exactly into fatties either, lets say.... curved.

kolpakicus and barone? oh man, who's going to keep either of them in check? the landlord? i cant focking wait, i'll be there every (insert anyday of the week) for setback night.

boo-ya, two more plots and two more guinness left. might be an early night for me, 2am.

1 comments

Yup, i was thinking that beer has the same analogy, but i wanted to stick to a single subject.

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, July 01, 2005 8:47:00 AM  

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