The Workermonkey
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
today i saw.........
the most spectacular ass EVER! It was nothing short of just plain awesome. As awesome as the cosmic universe and its complex phenomena was this ass. I followed the ass for some time. I did not however, make my walk extra long or follow it unnecessarily but I was headed its way and it was plainly there for my viewing. I though to myself that this was truly something that i should take note of, but not overly indulge in.
It was not just the shape itself that made this god-like ass (in the Greek sense) stand out but the complete picture in which it existed. It was framed, so to speak in some unique looking jeans that had bold yet simple stitching that complimented its shape in the most perfect union of ass and jeans i have ever witnessed. The transition from the ass to the leg was on par with the curves one would usually associate with an appropriately sized breast merging with the torso. The proportions are just exact. You know the curve when you seen one, even if it’s a passing glance. It’s hard to put a finger on why it’s appealing but it is so insanely sexy that it’s more or less art.
Now this ass would have been a marvel just to have looked at, but I had the pleasure of watching it move. The dynamics in which the cheeks moved was something out of this world. When she walked, she swiveled her hips ever so slightly. Not so exaggerated as a model on a runway when you can tell they are just faking it. My epiphany was that she genuinely walked this way. When she stepped off her back foot the jeans and ass contracted in such a manner that a subtle line appeared where the afore mentioned curve existed. This ass was pure muscle. Combined with the slight hip swing, this made for an extremely sexy walk.
I observed other fine assed females walking along for comparison but there simply wasn’t anything in its league. Others had shape but poor movement, some had the opposite. This was a "10" onto which all other asses should be judged.
The thought of complementing her on such a fine ass passed my mind, but there simply wasn’t a sober way for me to communicate this to her without coming off as a pervert. Yes, I appreciated it in a sexual way as any straight man would have. I have no guilt there. I also had a different kind of appreciation for it in a way that wasn’t sexual at all. I viewed it as a unique device that deserved extra appreciation like a finely engineered automobile or an incredible one-off piece or art (one could argue that they are the same). It was like something that is universally appreciated by everyone in some way even if they have no interest in the subject at all.
Then seemingly as soon as this sacred ass had entered my vision, she changed paths, we went on our seperate ways and I was left with this story. Enjoy.
2 comments
I think we can all feel the same way about as fine an ass as Ron has just seen. The rapturous happiness I get struck with upon seeing an amazingly appealing girl is (on average) superior to what I'd feel when looking at (for example) the Venus de Milo. Because the art LIVES. It's like the Holocaust. Except the exact opposite.
By
DJ Booze Piñata, at Thursday, February 24, 2005 5:57:00 PM
"larose is the grisham of the 'ass' genre!"
- usa today
"i could feel my cock between her cheeks!"
- the new york times
"vivid description, but i was disappointed when i realized it was about a woman, and not a young boy."
- priests everywhereBy
Post a CommentTuesday, February 22, 2005
not guiness but...
brilliant!
got a kick out of it, thought you might as well. legally, it might be valid too
2 comments
man josh, you fuck up more links than anyone else. well maybe its just because you post more links.
By
god damnit. here it is: www.kirotv.com/news/4191531/detail.html
By
Post a CommentMonday, February 21, 2005
sweet sweet concurrence
so i was sitting in one of my classes waiting for it to begin today, when i heard this guy in my class (age 32, if that's relevant) talking about how evolution's just a theory, and how it's not proven and he doesn't believe in it. then i got to thinking, "goddamn south carolina." little did i know how soon my words would be echoed. but if it puts it into any sort of perspective, and i think it might, it should be known that this guy went to bob jones university here in sc. check that out even for 2 mins. got all you need to know abotu bob jones, if you know nothing about the school (or the man).
so i was about to get into my car today after class when some girl says "hey, i dont know you but can you help me?" my inclination was that this was either some kind of scam, or the beginning of some porn movie. so i said "i dont know, whats up." turns out her car was apparently stolen from the parking lot. brand new, just got it yesterday. anyway, being the good samaratin that i'm not, i offered to drive her to parking services (why is still beyond my comprehension; i'm still wondering if the fact that it's raining had anything to do with it). the ride there (all of 5 min) was interesting though. she was from georgia, went to northern ga univ (or some derivation thereof), and was at usc for grad school social work. but it was interesting to me that she said she hated sc. i figured it was probably similar to georgia, though sc is probably more conservative still, due to atlanta and its people from all over.
that's it. if you are waiting for some great climax click here and make sure you've got some tissues handy. and to answer your question, she was cute, but a little thin.
3 comments
bob jones sucks. if you click on the creed of the univ. the first line is the belief in the word of god and its teachings in the old and new testiment. how can this place be considered an educational institution. all i have to say is wow.
in other news: didnt mean to be so harsh on you damon so no hard feelins what can i say im an assholeBy
yeah it's the most ridiculous place ever. more conservative/religious than you or i could ever imagine. the students have to dress up nice (shirt and tie) for class, and there is no showing of affection b/w sexes except married people, who may hold hands.
the only comfort in it all is that it's not an accredited university.By
read al frankens' book, theres a chapter in it about how he took on of the kids working on the book to bob jones university to "investigate". kind of funny, they got kicked out.
By
Post a CommentFriday, February 18, 2005
Home sweet Home?
Its been three weeks since me and matt have been in the snowy cold north east. Spending most of that time on the beach in 75 degree whether may have spoiled me for the rest of the winter. Regardless we are coming back tommarow or today.
Thank you to all that housed our insanity, branciteam and josh. Spent about a week and a half with Kim and Brian and it was cool. Panama City was not exactly what i imagined but it was fun anyway. Branciforte is still the same, not too much of a neat freak or at least any more than i remember him being. they got a nice place down there and they made it comfortable. thanks again for havin us little buddy.
offloaded speaker and other such goodies brought down for the trip. I have recently received a comunicaye about the need for fireworks at the home base. they will be brought and displayed at one Carl Carlsons house, if he is still staying with the wolf, on sunday and you fuckers can pick what you want.
this has been a great trip and wish could have had a couple more soldiers in the unit but people have jobs i guess... assholes.
dont you remember you tole me you loved me baby
do do do
you said you d be coming back this way baby
baby baby baby baby ooo baby
i love you
by the way i met Mr. T in Atlanta and traded him the minivan for the Ateam van
kickass. bum bum bum ba da bom i love it when insanity comes together.
Peace bitch
5 comments
I cannot even understand you. Nor do I think I want to.
By
sorry guy but i am trying to be as discrete as possible...if you dont know you betta axe somebody
By
and again, my post had no information for you personally that is why you cant understand it. if i had words to communicate to you specifically you would understand but i did not so who gives a fuck if you understand or not.
last time i checked this was not the explain everything to damon so he understands site. was it? no i dont fucking think so.
Fuck you very muchBy
I understood it perfectly. Although i am more tuned to Murphology than most.
~BBeerBy
, at Wednesday, February 23, 2005 6:04:00 PM
murphyspeak. brancibeer and macunas should get this
By
Post a CommentWednesday, February 16, 2005
From the Wingate Inn
Whats happening Monkeys?! Brancibeer here. Been a while. I'm traveling again, hence the only time i get to check the ole blog (yet not much time at all). The internet connection in the house is not on the list in the near future. Maybe once the Kimmer starts bringing in some dow, but for now its the essentials.
I live pretty well. Try to eat right, have good taste. Have luxeries here and there. I'd say i live a moderately classy life. I dont want to be yuppie though, but sometimes i fear i may be on the line.
Dumb and Dumber (Murphy/ chump) arrived or crashed at my house last monday. Getting any sure answers out of those two is like talking to a four year old. It was a shaky landing, but everything turned out fine. Felt great to hang out and talk and stuff. We had good times and did some cool stuff. Went to beach, boat ride, party, tetris, tetris, tetris, played with kitties, out to eat, got pissed off, got pissed, got over it- you know the usual. Sad to see them go though, they should be back in CT anytime now. Any of you are always welcome to come down. Always nice to hang with some true old friends.
Thanks for remembering my B-day doobies. The day came and went and the song remains the same. Still struggling with the working life, and trying to think of ways to escape it. Will i ever succeed? Will you? He put down his drink, and a tear came to his eye, and he realized, he loved Big Brother (or something like that). Started reading on my lunch breaks. Its a good way to keep reading, and put your mind on something else. Lots of good books ahead of me. I'm still trying to write here and there too. Only when I get inspired and only when i have time- which is about once every month. But hey, it adds up and maybe i can make something of it someday.
Murphy and Chump will tell you about my life here. Have i changed? Am i still a neat freak? Youll just have to pry it out of them. Bring treats and lots of beer.
Hope to communicate regulary again sometime soon!
~Team
1 comments
in the words of the alabama slamma "dont look AT ME!!" eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyaaaaaooooooo
keepin it realBy
Post a CommentMonday, February 14, 2005
i thought the v was for vagina
ron, i share in your disgust for this commercially created holiday. one theory of how this day started is that it was the day birds used to pair up in rome or something. dirty, disgusting, disease-ridden birds. and apparently saint valentine married people despite orders not to. in other words, all republicans should boycott this day, since they also seem to like to prohibit marriage. but alas, i once again caved in to society, i will admit, and sent some stuff to erica. however, if you use 1800flowers enough they give you discounts and shit. so i used some promotion code and it took a little of the pain out of today.
in other news, i stepped up and bought some quality poker chips. 650 of your standard 11.5g/39mm chips. now when we play at home we'll have chips big enough to count easily, and not so cheap looking (though i must admit i got a great deal on ebay). that may or may not be exciting to any of you and i may or may not care that it actually is.
otherwise, golf season is so close i can taste it. it's essentially here, but i've had trouble matching up my free time with a nice day thus far. but spring break is only a few weeks away, and i'll be meeting up w/ the jmu roommates and a few others in charleston for a few rounds and more than a few beers. so before that i'd like to get a practice round or 2 in so that scott and i can once again show the dirty southern boys who their daddy is.
santos puked on my bed yesterday. i needed a new blanket anyway. he licks his ass hello.
green day won at least 1 thing at the grammys last night. i was happy for them. i doubt if any musical group better defines/represents our generation than green day. i cannot think of one. it seems like we grew up w/ them, and watched them develop thru their albums and appearance changes. i also felt fortunate because i can usually only tolerate about 5 min of any show like the grammys. but it was a commercial during arrested development so i flipped over, just in time to see green day win. i was so pleased i changed teh channel after they left stage and never went back, for fear of going back to something inane and regretful. good times had by all.
josh/santos in 2008. we WILL pass more permissive public defecation laws. that's our promise to you. what have you done for the USA lately?
8 comments
ok so i fucked up on the link. whatever. why you tryin to look at flowers anyway? shutup
By
I'm excited about the poker chips
Where was Green Day during college? Hell during high school? Dookie was huge when we were in middle school, and now they're back, but I don't remember anything in between.By
they had a ton in between:
1995 - insomniac (many hits on this one)
1997 - nimrod (good riddance)
2001 - int'l superhits (best of compilation)
2002 - shenanigans
2002 - foot in mouth
2004 - american idiot (title track, boulevard of broken dreams)
2004 - 1039 smoothed out slappy (seems to be a pre-dookie album restored)
they were pretty constant, and most of the albums had hits. if not them, who else? i'm sure i can shoot down some suggestions, haha.By
I checked the 1039 on my shelf, it's copyright 1990, so that's out. And just now, with tracks American Idiot and Boulevard of Broken Dreams playing on EQX in VT they got back to me. But hardly anything in between when Blink 182 then Good Charlotte took over the cutting edge of punk rock. Bowling for Soup is making a push now too, and probably as good as the current Green Day now. So while Green Day may be cool, and may have played those titles you mentioned, there's no way they are the definition. Hell Eminem came a little into rock in that time too. Oh yes and Sum 41. Green Day no where in sight of my thousand plus MP3 collection all through college. Anyway, I've no idea what's kicking now because there's NO radio in CT. Yay ClearChannel for taking the ONE modern rock station and making it the same as all the other kiddie pop hip hop shit stations that they also own in the same market. Which is too bad since I live in my car for work so it'd be nice to have something new to listen too, but it's CDs and more CDs all the time.
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well i think this shows how our musical tastes diverge a little. i enjoy some of the green day albums in b/w, but i will admit they didn't get as much radio play as dookie or now american idiot. that being said, i also can't stand the radio, and probably haven't listened to it since 1999, with the exceptions of showers at home in ct where the radio's in the bathroom.
the reason i didnt choose such bands/performers as eminem, sum 41, good charlotte, is they all came out a bit after green day. i'll admit, some of them have been around for a while, but i guess there's just something w/ me and remembering dookie being one of my first cds (or one of the first i remember getting).
oh well, it spurred some conversation. that was mostly the goal. i appreciate the response damonBy
damon, you are just too modern rock for us. i'm still listening to marcy playground and everclear.
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Ron I do love the new stuff, but those bands you mentioned make up 4 of the 96 CDs that ride with me every day and get regular spins. Also I had to defend Everclear against a tough woman telling me they were done with. Alas, my favorite band isn't even around anymore :(
By
come on, no mention of the Red Hot Chili Peppers? they've been constant and consistant over the years releasing a bunch of great albums. Bye the way, californication, one hot minute, blood suger sex magic. i rest my case
By
Post a Commentfuck valentines day!
this is an awful day. the flower and teddy bear companies are the only ones who actually like this day. so you've abused your lover for a year and all is forgiven on this day if you buy them something nice. affection shouldnt be expressed soley on a single day. thats not how relationships work (like i'm one to say how they DO work but thats another story). i only know what doesnt work and this day is fucked up and reinforces bad practices. want to do something special? then think of something more creative than giving someone flowers on the same day that everyone does.
besides the ritualistic nature of the day i despise how it makes single people like myself feel left out. nobody likes to feel left out and damnit i'm no exception. there is this singles auction on campus today but i'm looking for some of age bitches if ya know what i mean. plus i dont have the $$ to spend. or the time to actually go out on a date. arg theres alot of problems here that i'm slowly realizing. oh well, everything has a time and a place. i guess i should just consider myself lucky this year to not have to buy some flowers at an inflated price. hopefully i wont be so lucky next year.
0 comments Post a Comment
Saturday, February 12, 2005
I've had a fever/cold for the past 3 or 4 days and I don't need it anymore. The CDC is probably going to put me down so I won't spread pestilence around homeless communities anymore.
So i went to this Mansfield library book sale and picked up Winston Churchill's 6 book collection of WWII chronicles/experiences. It's pretty ill. It's going to take me a long time to come to the ending. What the hell, here's a synopsis straight from my synapses:
After beating back G-town in the first war, everyone was mad paranoid about them re-arming, so they banned it and made germany pay crippling amounts of reparations for carrying the war to everyone's borders like that. They complied, and America started giving them tens of millions each year in aid. They had to pay that out to france and britain, who in turn paid thier own loans back to america (even churchill admits that was pretty stupid). Germany started building new factories that could be easily converted for war production on the sly. They pretty much eliminated unemployment by laying down the groundwork for war a decade ahead of time. Since thier military was limited and thier air force had to disband, there emerged a frenzy for pasttimes like hang-gliding and boy-scout style troop activities (planning fifteen years down the road). After WWI everyone pretty much became pussies about actual confrontation and so no one would repremand germany once they started breaking treaties. Plus there was alot of Liberals and Communists in power everywhere so no one really listened much to the Hawks. That's it i'm outta here.
1 comments
not to mention disbanding the german navy. WWI peace treaty was thought to be exceedingly harsh to the Germans and their defense system. Britain and France along with the rest of Europe, allowed for Germany to Build its army back to a strong level as a result of the unfair treaty conditions. WWII would not have happened if the terms of the treaty of versailles was fair after the first world war
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Post a CommentFriday, February 11, 2005
the workermonkey is slowly dying a painful death
don't let the workermonkey die
i implore you!
1 comments
i believe that we are all as busy as workermonkeys.
By
Post a CommentTuesday, February 08, 2005
happy bday brancibeer
2 comments
you old bastard
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happy belated bastard day
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Post a CommentMonday, February 07, 2005
bring the pain!
yea boyee. i gots one week to crank out a conference paper. i wonder if i'll get it out? we'll see. its not a big deal if i dont but still if i dont then i fucked up. i could fucking care less about going to a conference next sept anyway. i think i'm ready for a job-job. none of this student crap. i'm sure may will be here before i know it. i just applied for graduation today, thats what go me thinking
got on the bike today and ripped some wheelies!!! oh yea, i've been waiting for 6 weeks to do that again. riding with the brace is doable, no jumps for atleast 3-4 more weeks though. i feel like despite all the drugs i've done to cope with not being able to ride i finally got my fix. there is no subsitute for me.
i also got thinking today about change on a political scale. you know oil dependance and us abusing other less powerful nations for our own gain. whats it going to take to change? is it going to be people like us to buy hybrid cars and build energy efficient homes? nope, thats not going to do it. here is part of my reasoning. lets consider the political system an algebraic system of differential equations. this isnt too far fetched, afterall people make decisions based on prior knowledge (and outside input) much like a system of equations reacts based on prior position lets say, (and exterior forces). every system has a certian "inertia" value. like putting a can of warm soda in the fridge for 2 mins doesnt make it cold. it takes time, thats a temperature inertia example. the generic term is called a time constant but,.vzx
alright, so to effect major change there simply isnt much that can be done on a small scale. like adding an ice cube to the fridge to help cool down the soda. you'd have to fill the whole fucking thing with ice cubes and then still wait some time. so what i'm saying is we all got to ride this wave of shit because with the demographics of this nation i dont think there is enough people willing to change to even effect the system much at all. i hate to poke at the midwest but stereotypes exist for a reason and overall the people just arent educated enough. their world view is so closeminded they just eat whatever crap they are fed (and are happy). i was thinking about all this democratic effort these days and i think things are just going to swing back on their own. its the way the system is going to react to the war and the aftermath (from the world mostly).
damn i forgot what point i was trying to make. maybe something like pressing for change is good but its going to take a superhuman effort to effect a change in the world or that we'll change when all of the worlds oil is gone and we still have our alaskan reserve. i dont know why i felt like getting political tonight. i was just pissed because if someone invested the war machine tax dollars into alternative energy we'd probably have an alternate along with tons of other newer technology. i bet nano and microtech sectors gets a funding cut this year, along with the NSF and NASA. its a fucking shame and i'm angry about it.
if any hope exists, it lies with the proles. (something like that)
2 comments
You are the dead, Ron.
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not yet i aint!
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Post a CommentFriday, February 04, 2005
good site. some of you would find interest
0 comments Post a Comment
what's the state of THIS?
well, W announced a plan to ask congress for $250mil to help establish democracy in the middle east. i hope those unemployed assholes in ohio who voted for him are happy. but i sure as hell don't want them getting any of MY tax money. get a job, then come talk to me you stupid bastards. welfare can lick my nuts. people like bill gates should be able to keep every cent they make. he earned it. if you're so upset about it why don't you invent a better operating system and put your name on the building. until then shut the hell up. but still it's not liek our economy is doing great over here. how about investing that quarter of a million dollars in the UNITED STATES. isn't that what should come first and foremost to the president of the UNITED STATES? since when is the middle east more important? oh shit, oil, my bad.
and now the superbowl commercials are going to be more conservative thanks to mtv-nation and the stunt that old, forgotten slut and that stupid fag put on last year. cnn was saying that advertisers are toning it down this year. so much for the tradition of good superbowl commercials.
also the question of the day was about america's celebrity obsession. it's goddamn ridiculous. someone paid like $3000 for half eaten toast of justin timberlake. those are the stupidmotherfuckers who should be taxed. taxed for stupidity. and you can get billiard balls from elvis' pool table, shit like that. who the fuck cares. it's just like any billiard ball made by the same manufacturer. the best comment was by a viewer who said they'd pay anything for bill o'reilly's mind cuz it was sure to be in mint condition cuz he's never used it.
to sum up:
W sucks
mtv nation sucks
celebrities and those who are obsessed with them suck
i rule
0 comments Post a Comment
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
An End to Job Insecurity for All (except everyone but me)
That's right, I just got hired onto the Chamber of Commerce full time, and I get full benefits while I'm at it. @$@%#@4 fucking shame my exclaimation point key is broken@#54
You know that song Superstylin' by Groove Armada? (it's on the hi-fidelity dub disc i kept playing last year.) Well now it is me who is the one that is superstylin' . not roots manuva. me.
murph you forgot Carly Simon. goddamn southern dandies couldn't carl thier way out of a paper bag.
6 comments
Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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nice job.
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congrats macunas...workin your way up to prez
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Hot link, D-man. Union of Concerned Scientists is a good group. I got to check out thier headquarters (it's nice) and do some coalition work with them when I did that non-prof/enviro internship in DC. I was actually hoping to work for them eventually but never bothered to pass out resumes when I was down visiting since then. I would just get drunk at my favorite bar - redheads drink half price at Madam's Organ.
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redheads? sick. just like skinny girls
By
redhead guys are cool though, generally pretty laid back (to stereotype). courtney's cool too. just had a bad experience with a redheaded femme. i'm not going back!
By
Post a CommentLet met tell Ya Somethin!!
Fuck you stupid mics, dagos, waps ginnys, slopes slants, nigs, and jews,
I hate all yall
thats right i said Yall.
The South shall rise again, bitches., hotlanta muther fukers
Bitch
Me and barone aere fucked up in Georgia, getting reddy to smoke a fattty
or as you northerner likes to sey' 'continuation of life long bender obligations.
Keep it real andkeep karl carlson aka , carl weathers aka carl malone, carl zirkenback, (step grandfather of one jjm)
carl, the landlord on aquateen branciforce
the fat guy in the sweat pants-hes cool
anyways keep the fucking shit tight while were gone
I love carl , call me
peace fags
0 comments Post a Comment
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
all quiet on the southern front
or southern middle...whatever. fuck this place. ahhhhh but tonight's post rings a happy tone
the weekend, or what can be remembered of it was a complete success. the happy wagon pulled up around 8am sat morning, and by 1230 we were gone. until monday morning.
it was a much needed break, for alas, it's back to studying again. this week hit me hard, with no signs of relief until spring break in march. papers and projects along with the regular reading will make february a bitch. i can only hope it warms up enough to play golf on the weekends, however i truly honestly fear i might not even have that much time to spare. sad, but true. but the spring of your first year is traditionally the worst, so once i make it to may these rough seas will be...well...rough. but not as rough apparently. of course not, cuz its summer.
ok well some good show on the food network is comin on, so its time to eat some food and watch some food.
i've never met carl personally, but i like him
a lot. a real stand up guy
1 comments
let me tell you something about carl. he's a sneaky bastard who slaps you in the face and steals your wallet only seconds after the introductions are made. the rest of the night is definatly wasted. never met a guy like him before.
By
Post a Commentsomethings up
i think i lost an hour of time tonight. ok, i went to the gym to ride the stationary bike as usual at around 6. i only ride for 35 mins so counting changing time and walking 50 mins tops. then i usually go back to my apartment and eat dinner. 5 mins walking to car, 5 mins warming it up 5 mins drive back to apartment (1:05 total). as soon as getting to my place i get going to dinner. since i just heat shit up this takes 20 mins total, preparation and eating time together. then i grab a beer and take a shower. somehow tonight when i got dressed after the shower and got in the car it was 9. i'm thinking to myself, "what the fuck?" i though it would be around 8, because thats what it usually is and i've been on this routine for 2 weeks now. well not strictly, sometimes i have 2 beers. but either way something went astray tongiht and i'm an hour late. my only guess is that i misread the clock and i went to the gym at 7 instead of 6. either that or i just blanked out for an hour or something when i was eating or in the shower. another thing that might indicate that i was an hour late to the gym was that i saw my friend candice on the way in. she's fucking hot and an engineer and i'll probably be fantasizing about her all night. i've been getting used to seeing the same people daily in the gym because i keep a routine and i suspect that some or most of them do too, but this was the first time i saw her there. maybe i'll go an hour later tomorrow........
0 comments Post a Comment
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