The Workermonkey

# posted by NoBrainRequired @ 9/20/2010 06:37:00 PM

I can't take the waiting. Finished the book Matt gave me in two days (World War Z). It was just excellent but didn't kill enough time. I would highly highly recommend the book.

Time dialation, worse than LSD. Thats what it feels like. I'm only posting to keep my fingers busy. I keep drinking, but its not working, my alcohol time machine is broken (I guess thats better than going backwords by accident). I don't know what else to do. I keep clicking the icon but steam won't let me pass. Stupid steam. How can they let you download a game but then make you wait a week to play it. Madness.

To make things worse, stupid ohio has this new stupid law on its books and I have to comply with it if I want to do business in their state. So now, when I had ear marked that time on my outlook calendar with fake meetings with non-existant people, I have to cancel them, and not taste the sweet fruit of progress and instead meet with lawyers (yeah, like they have short conversations ever) and sales people (the only people who are more long winded than lawyers) and hope they don't hear my frantic clicking, moaning, and occassional zippering (yeah you heard that, that was my zipper dude, do you really want to know?).

I was hoping to get a 6 hr lead on Matt. Now I have deliverables to handle. Stupid job. I should just quit. The job market is good right now, right? Pipe dream, you know I'll eat it tomorrow because I got to put food on the table. Stupid job. Stupid Steam. Stupid Ohio laws. Stupid ducks wearing pants.

MMMMM...frankenfish. Sounds good. People are crazy. I just don't know who's worse. The idiots that are worried about a little monkeying with the genetic code or the the idiots that think its okay to monkey with the genetic code. In a decade, those gen-salmon will be our slave master overlords. Whats next, genetically modified corn? Impossible, nothing could improve corn, except possibly Vishnu (the jury is out until Vishnu emails me back).

Ok, I'm back, sorry about that. I had to read bed time stories to Addy. The kid loves books. Here is some free parenting advice. Reading to your kids calms them and helps them sleep. She's a good kid but has buckets of energy. Reading helps.

The dog on the otherhand is very very lazy.

That Tosh.O show is funny. Didnt like it at first, but now it makes me laugh. Kinda like Sunny in Philadelphia.

What else I got. Hmmmm. This whole exercise will be a failure unless I can keep typing until 10am. Matt, you got anything? No. Hmmmm. So did you hear the Wolfpack are renaming to the Whale. We're one step close to having a real hockey team here. Probably happen the next time the Redsox win a series. Coincedentally, that will happen 16 years after haleys comet comes back thru, so we'll all be dead. Except maybe Ron, who we all know is indestructible (is he a cyborg? think about it).

Lets see, what else. I find Branci's tag line "You're going down like your sister on nickel night" to be very amusing but shouldn't he be the last one to bring up sisters in this group. I'd say we got more sister ammo on him than any one else. I'm not going to sink to that level, I'm just pointing out the irony (is it ironic? not sure I'll check the dictionary after I post this). Notably, we all have sisters and so maybe we should just call it even because they are all such wonderful people. Okay, back in two minutes the dog wants to be let out.

My plan for the zombie apocalypse is to stay put. Here in coventry, I'm wedged between to major metropolitan areas. This is definitly going to be in the exclusion (the area completely abondoned by whats left of the govt and left to fend for itself) zone. Plus with two very young children, extensive foot travel is just too dangerous. I'll just secure the homestead as much as possible and we'll live in the attic like ann frank. As the mortality rates rise, foraging should become easier in the near term. Winter will be tough, but I have a woodstove and a gun. Here is the theoligical question of the week:
If a zombie bites you, and your about to become a zombie, if you blow your brains out with a gun so you don't become one-does that count as suicide? Do you go to hell? What if don't do it and it would mean your family would be killed by you? Would not splattering your own brains be murder of your family? I doubt the pope will ever weigh in on that one.

Still, sharpen your shovels and stockpile your ammo. I stockpile lots of things. Matt will back me up on this. I'm a firm believer in an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Especially if replace prevention with p*****y and cure with c*****k. Seriously, I've got guides to edible plants, I've got potatoes planted in the woodline, I've got something to make that hour before the asteroid hits be as long and happy as possible. I've got shit that you would never even think about (The decision to eat the family dog is never an easy one and shouldn't be taken lightly). Maybe I'm crazy. I don't put money into anything I wouldnt be better off with anyways (like the panels). Hey, everyday I have to walk this dog a mile around the neighborhood. Might as well use that time to find every food source and vunrable snior possible.

Might point is, don't get caught with your pants down. Don't panic. Have a plan. Its very possible that staying put is best plan. Maybe you live in an apartment in the city. Then you should know where your headed (stay off the main roads), you'll be on foot so make sure you know the way and can travel light. Assume that you'll be doing it in the dark without any map or tech. Remember that crowds (herds) are a double edge sword. Most people are dumb as nails but not nearly as stable.

You could come here. My home is open to this small crowd. A few extra young adults males only increases my fire power. Now if you all show up at my door, it might get tough, but its the warmth to food ratio. It takes the same amount of burn to warm 10 people as it does 4 people. Every body not on firewood duty gets guard or food duty. As long we can eat, we're okay. Fresh water might be tough, thats my one concern. It takes a community to produce water at this elevation. Wells are not easy and will pass thru septic tanks. The community well requires electricy. There is a whole lot 'ifs' and 'hows' in the water equation. I love my family, I don't want to get into the lengths I would go to get water.

okay, 7:58, thats a full hour gone. maybe a more positive topic. I love Civ. God dammit. now its all I can think about. Stupid steam. Stupid slow moving time. Stupid OH laws. I wish I had a time machine or a hobbit size freezer.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Workermonkey

Monday, September 20, 2010

C'mon, c'mon, c'mooooooooooooooun

# posted by NoBrainRequired @ 9/20/2010 06:37:00 PM

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