The Workermonkey

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

i love the internet 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 2/09/2010 02:22:00 AM

every day is a new adventure on the internet. i love it. under the technical term i have an addiction to it. but i also have one for alcohol and the green if you follow addiction to the letter, as well as video games, picking my nose, taking a poop, showers, brushing my teeth, eating food, breathing, growing my hair, and looking up while walking and chewing gum.

i was suspended from work for tomorrow (tuesday) for asking my new boss why he was telling me to do something. he asked me to put a PO in for him and i said i was an engineer and not a secretary. that led to a one day suspension. i asked if could be thursday, they wondered why. i have two interviews on Thursday already and i didn't want to get farther behind on the project i'm working on by taking two days off this week. doing my job has nothing to do with this. it also the only reason i still have it. i'm awesome at it and i succeed in spite of the people around me. i recently found out i was 100K under budget on a 120K project. the board of directors noticed that one much sooner than i did, but that doesn't stop the people at the plant level from firring me for making them look bad.

one thing i can hold over the new peopel i'm working with is that the plant i just went to in spain had its top people walked out two weeks after i left, i get along with te board of directors great because i make them money. the people at my plant level hate me for making htem look bad. which do i listen to? the poeople around me are about to get walked out, how much pandering should i do to them befor ethey go? can i hold on before htey are walked out? my new boss is obviously frightened by my previous experiencees, how do i win this one?

searching for "i hate my boss" doesn't give me the results i was looking for. i think its an opportunity for a very successful web site for one of us. we all need to get better at the web.

i want to win this. i want to be the evil genius who takes down his boss. so far, i don't have a good enough plan. speaking dollars and cents doesn't seem to get the job done fast enough. he hasn't touched me inappropriately yet so that's not an option. so right now i have:

A) he touched me (5% chance of success)

B) he's losing you money (30% CS)

C) wait (25 % CS over the next year)

D) do something awesome (0% CS since i don't know what that is yet)

i need help on this one. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME IDEAS!!!! i want this. so far losing money is the best one i've got. all i want in the comments is ideas and suggestions: GO!

9 comments

PS: i drank an entire 750ml bottle of chivas regal tonight. the drinking associated with the lack of green is getting too expensive, especially if i'm going to get shit canned.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, February 09, 2010 2:45:00 AM  

PS: in all seriousness, why are you not allowed to talk to your boss like a normal person? ia there some kind of law in america that says you can't? i'd believe that, it sounds like america. we're crazy, and our bosses suck. what bothers me the most is hte last of communication. leave me in the dark and feed me shit, just like a mushroom.

i'm constantly at odds with my current boss because he was hired instead of me. even if i did like him, how would i prove that? or am i just fucked either way? is there really no way common ground can be reached? is this just one of those eternal struggles for power? son of a bitch, i'm too honest for that...

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, February 09, 2010 3:35:00 AM  

as far as suggestions go, who said you need to just use 1 of your ideas? why not up the % by showing he's losing money AND he touched you? there's also plenty of other sabotage-like and/or illegal things you could do that i would never recommend (on the record).

in my experiences, the best thing to do is to get close to or prove yourself to the least senior reasonable person. someone who has direct contact and control over the people who are incompetent and pissing you off.

it's funny because your work situation reminds me of parts of mine, only the boss hierarchy is slightly different. our direct bosses are awesome and fight for us. they have a new boss and the adjustment has been a bit abrasive. but then his boss is someone who has been in our office for a while and is again awesome. but then his bosses are regional higher-ups in the company who spew the bullshit that sounds like it should be good but is flawed when put into practice (though that also depends from which side you are looking at things).

By  josh, at Tuesday, February 09, 2010 8:19:00 PM  

Dude, I don't know. I think you have a problem with authority or something. I mean, I have know doubt that you are a great employee as far as getting shit done-wise. In fact, I know that you are a god damn robot of productivity (my dad still says you were the best employee he ever had). But the workplace is more than productivity- its politics and communication and cooperation. You got to learn to play all the positions in the game. If you keep getting fired like this and leaving burning wrecks behind you sooner or later its going to catch up with you.

By  Brancibeer, at Thursday, February 11, 2010 10:46:00 AM  

one of the things that drives me nuts is everyone of these conversation starts with telling me how great i am at getting things done, how good i am technically, how valued i am, its all bullshit. if any of it was true they'd put me to good use running the place or doing more. if the people above me are really that bad or insecure at what they do, then get them out of the way.

i've had to spend a lot of time talking ot he HR guy about all this and something that keeps coming up is that people in the shop aren't coming to him with the same complaints. the best example i can use is look whats happening to me for doing it. they are afraid to do the same thing and should have good reason to be so. i'm constantly hearing fro mthe guys on te floor how bad things are and being asked to do something as they knwo they have no outlet or chance to fix them. i'm seen as a member of management who gets things done so they come to me with problems. those problems get addressed and i get told to fuck off and watch myself do addressing them. i see it as a gigantic problem that people can't act like normal human beings at work because of dumbass boss who spreads fear. no one should have to work like that i i refuse to. i wound't have such a problem with authority if it wasn't so bad. its insulting to see them only act when they are yelled at by their boss while the people below them are begging for the same thing.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, February 15, 2010 9:24:00 PM  

i kind of know how you feel. our company has "corporate" sending emails and even division heads to different branches talking about eliminating micromanagement, however at the branch level micromanagement is actually increasing. it's like they preach what we want to hear but the immediate people who have their hands in everything just ignore it and tell us that it's the overall goal but to achieve it we have to do a, b, and c, all of which are heavily micromanaged.

also, i'm getting pretty sick of being told what a good job i'm doing only to get a minimal raise and/or have no opportunities for advancement.

By  josh, at Monday, February 15, 2010 10:22:00 PM  

We are all most likely going to be the bosses of something someday. And I bet our employees will be saying the same things. I don't think it's so simple. You would have think they would have figured it out by now if it was. Someone is always going to complain.

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, February 15, 2010 11:07:00 PM  

am i the only one who thinks "someday" isn't soon enough?

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, February 17, 2010 9:01:00 PM  

i can't wait for someday

By  josh, at Thursday, February 18, 2010 10:49:00 AM  

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