The Workermonkey

Friday, July 14, 2006

My life, Updated 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 7/14/2006 01:18:00 PM

Ok, so I’ve been complaining about not having any time to do stuff and being totally stressed out. well, no one is here at work right now and its Friday, so fuck em. I'm going to write a big piece of crap and just rant my ass off. Enjoy.

lets start with work. that’s been the biggest problem in my life currently and I guess everything stems from it. I’ll start at the beginning because if I didn't, I think some people would be lost. When I got this job it was after I had been fired/freaked out and quit the last one. They had told me they were looking for someone to do heat exchangers and tanks and they wanted to expand that side of their business. sounded cool and the money they were throwing at me was good. it was kind of an offer I couldn't refuse. I quickly found out that I was on my own with this stuff and kind of expected to be an expert from day one. well, I’m not, and I’m still not. The first big thing I had to do here was get us through our annual ASME audit. After I started it became apparent I was supposed to make sense of the mess that was left by the guy I was replacing. so I did. I got through the audit and moved on to other projects. the heat exchanger (HX) stuff was kind of slow so I picked up some other stuff to do so I could keep busy. I ended up helping everyone and kind of learning how to do everything around here, both because I was trying to help, I wasn't retarded, I wanted to get stuff done to help this place out and I’m just curious by nature so I wanted to know everything about everything. I also got to do some other cool stuff along the way like business trips and trade shows, both kind of cool. I also got to hire an old family friend of mine, Tom, who I kind of saved from a shitty job. Tom had worked at the place I was fired from for 9 years and was how I found it to begin with. my dad and I happened to bump into him the week after I graduated and he mentioned that the engineer at that place was leaving the next week and maybe I should send them my resume. he said he had nothing to do with them hiring me so I should expect nothing. I ended up with the job like 3 days later and was behind a desk working within 2 weeks of graduation.

when I left the last place and came over here, we happen to be constantly looking for welders, so I extended the same offer to tom he had given me, I can't promise anything but it would be worth your while to come over and give it a shot. well, we hired him and so far he's been happy here because he's had no stress as he is no longer a foreman and no longer has to take shit from the bosses. Tom took a lot of crap over the years from the last guys because of his record, they figured they had him by the balls and he kind of took it. my offer to get away from that was almost too good to be true to him and just so happened to come at the right time. I’m glad I was able to help him out and it makes me feel awesome that I’m 24 and can get my friends jobs they like.

Everything at this new place has been going great up until recently. I’m making good money, done some cool stuff and now I’m starting to get more orders for HX's because of the work I’ve been doing. plus I’ve learned a million things I had no clue about. I was kind of grateful that they trusted me to come up with prices and designs and kind of leaving me to do what I needed. well now I’m too busy, I’ve brought in more work then I can handle on my own and I need help. of course, now my needs are ignored and when I’ve relied on others around here to help a little I’ve been burned. I’ve had a few fights with people (fucking rick, he's been trying to screw me since too) and things aren't getting done. I've run out of people to tell and complain too and at this point its just not worth my effort, I’ve figured out that they don't care and what I had previously taken as them trusting me and giving me credit was more of them not paying attention and trying to take advantage of the fact I’m willing to do so much. I’ve made a million suggestions about how we could be things better around here but they've fallen on def ears since, hey, I’m the fucking kid around here, what the hell do I know. I've identified a bunch of problems and come up with solutions about fixing them, solutions for how to pay for them, and I’ve given outlines about what kind of people I need in the shop to do this stuff. but again, no one cares. well now that I’m busy, I need this stuff.

We have an insurance inspector who has to check all the HX stuff I do, he checks calcs, drawings, and he has to do all this stuff to the ASME code and help us follow our QC program. well I’ve been having some trouble with him lately because I’m trying to do too much and I’m missing a lot of little things. I’ve been making mistakes on both drawings and calcs and trying to cut corners to get stuff done. plus when things don't go right or the shop has a problem, I have to fix it since, A) no one else is here to do it, B) no one will do it C) because I do everything, I’m the only one who knows what’s going on or D) when I’m the only one here, I’m the only one to answer the phone so I get thrown into it whether I like it or not.

Well this inspector happens to be the same guy who I had at the last place who spent the time to teach me a lot of this crap which is way above the scope of his job. he shouldn't have thought me anything and instead told my employer to train me. instead he was totally cool and just taught me what I needed to know to make both of our lives easier. well I was also forced to fire him from the last place for something my bosses had made up in their heads, this was one of the reasons I told them off and I was gone 3 weeks later. the inspector has every right to feel a little stressed when he comes in here, now that I’m on my second company and second year of this stuff he expects me to know it a little better and is trying to hold me more accountable for the simple things. I don't blame him and its a very professional attitude to have, but a couple of weeks ago he sent me a nasty email. I responded with a nasty email of my own out of frustration and confusion. I’ve been a little upset at him because he's been going around me and instead of telling me about his findings he's been going to my boss and complaining while ignoring me and just not telling me about these problems. in return I get shit from them because they don't want to hear the inspector complain, period. so I wrote a very sarcastic email back to the inspector. in part because I was pissed and in part to invoke a reaction from some of the other people around here. if I explained the Master Plan at this point you'd all stop reading and instead pick up the phone and call some one to come pick me up and throw me in the looney bin. (no offense Tim). you're going to have to trust me when I say that the nasty email served its purpose and the large amount of bullshit to follow was expected and planned for.

basically, I’m a crazy genius. I want something. I haven't gotten it. the other things I’ve tried haven't worked. so I covered my ass, did something to invoke a reaction from the people around me, and get what I want. I expected to have to put up with a lot of shit. I didn't expect this much but so far it seems to be working. I took two days of serious ass fucking to half prove a point, half get something done and half by luck this shit worked. I want to accomplish something and every step of the way I run into road blocks so I do what is necessary to push through them. it might not always be the best way or the smartest, but its gotten me this far. again, please don't lock me up.

Monday and Tuesday were the worst. today and yesterday I’ve actually seen results. Tuesday was an afternoon of yelling and fighting with two of the people I work with, both of whom are my bosses. i was pushed and i pushed back. i was ready and I made my case. i placed the blame where the blame was due and i took shit for it. i took shit for doing too much and not doing enough. i took shit for speaking my mind and i took shit for calling people out. i kept my cool, took my lumps and let the people around me get angry and prove my point for me. of course i did loose my cool a little when i was repeately lied to about stuff, i was told i'd been leaving early, when i've been in the shop while other people leave. i took crap for gettign stuff done on time while other people said they were going take care of it and didn't. if they aren't going to listen to anything but rasied voices and yelling then i can stoop to thier level too. the fall out is the scary part. Wednesday was the day to piss off one of the owners. I took that one easy but it worked. yesterday I finally got someone else to see what the hell I was talking about and now I’m within reach of getting some of that stuff I want, the wheels are in motion so to speak. today everyone has been very helpful, understanding and actually asking my opinion on stuff that matters again. oh yeah, they started to noticed how busy I’ve been too. the ideas and plans i've laid out are starting to make sense to other people and now it doesn't just look like some scattered mess of me trying to spend everyones money.

the worst part about this work crap isn't what’s happening, but the fact that I can't just leave it at the door when I leave. I've been staying late a lot recently because of all the work and my time outside of work has been sucked dry from a bunch of different things. more on those later. when I do go home I’m still thinking about it and it really does consume my thoughts to the point that I’m not thinking about what I’m doing or what is happening around me. I’m sure most of you noticed Tuesday night. I do give a shit. if I’m going to spend a significant chunk of my life behind this desk, well then I’m going to damn well make sure its worth it and I’m going to do something awesome. if not, then fuck it, I’m better off wondering the countryside a nomad. its not my company but they do pay me and they have the resources I need to do stuff. I have the opportunity to actually make good on some of my crazy ideas. in a way I’m using them as much as they are using me. I just don't like to be used.

outside of work, I’ve been looking at houses for my next place to live and as my next investment. what’s killing me on this front is that I need the job I have to be able to afford the house I want. if I fuck up the job or I push this shit too far, then I can't have the house. which I also want. its been kind of hectic to look at stuff and thinking about everything that’s involved in this process. I’m trying to plan for years down the road when I can't even figure out what I’m going to eat for lunch. plus, this thing itself is making me feel old. a mortgage?!? fuck, the word itself is kind of scary. I’m going through kellyns' dad for this, who happens to be a mortgage broker. I got a copy of my credit score and all the crap that comes with it. THAT is scary, they know way more about me then I hoped and they've been tracking me for some time now. but my credit is very good so that’s cool. it actually comes up on it that my addresses don't match up, they have the VT one which I send bills and stuff to and the one in CT which is on my paycheck, so for some reason this is a knock against me.

my realtor happens to be someone we went to high school with. she wasn't someone I was ever friends with but its been kind of odd talking to her. the parallels between our group of friends and hers from the same town are stunning. basically everyone ends up back home. everyone. she’s marrying someone who lived down the street from me and they bought a house at the other end of said street. staying as local as possible. that isn't what I would have wanted, and if that first job hadn't be so close to Haddam I don't know if I’d even still be in the area right now. this line of discussion should have its own post down the road so I’ll leave it at this.

I've also got a new girlfriend now who is awesome. this has certainly helped with all the stress and added to it at the same time. the highest highs and the lowest lows. I’ve been spending a lot of time with her and its great, but its also a reason why I don't have a lot of time for other things I’d like to do, like write huge posts like this one. I can't complain about this one because it's been cool.

there are about a million little things that have come up too. like my lease is ending this month and trying to get the proper paper work from the leasing office to extend it has been a bitch. my car needs new brakes, I’ll take care of that tomorrow. I owe Brian and Murphy copies of the pics from Montana. my sister is trying to find a job and I’ve said I’d help when I can but I’ve basically been blowing her off. my parents are doing ok, my dad has a new job which he hated before he even started. my mom's been good but she's still not totally better from that hit to the head. that kind of worries me but there isn't anything I can do about it. my grand mother (mom's side) isn't doing good at all and we're all kind of waiting for that phone call. I feel bad about the whole thing and a little guilty that I haven't been able to spend more time with her. I’ve been busy with my own life and I’m sure she'd rather have me doing this stuff then spending time with her. I do call and talk to her at least every week but I think I’ve been slacking lately. I’ve been trying to get to the gym when I can but staying late and finding time for other things means the gym suffers. and baseball. I haven't watched more then an inning or two in a while now. I’ve been very scattered lately and everything has suffered from it. from blog posts to work to Tuesday nights, its all been crazy. of course this is the price I pay for being awesome.

6 comments

Read the whole thing. All i have to say is...where are my fucking pictures Barone!?

Ha ha, jk of course. I know what you mean about trying to shape the future of things at work. It takes so much effort, planning, ingenuity, and brains to actually make something happen. And you have to fight the entire fucking way. Its like a gauntlet at times. But dont you realize sir, you are not only an engineer by title , you are one in life.

By  Brancibeer, at Friday, July 14, 2006 4:08:00 PM  

Try to reign in your house expectations man, you don't want to need that job. People get a high paying job and think of the freedom all that cash gets them then spend it all and then some, then they are slaves. (I get freedom from my shit job in just 20 more days of work, ya-freakin-hoo!)

Of course the young guy has all the answers, because he has a fresh perspective and is more creative and blissfully unaware of their unproduction politics and intertia. Just remember these truths when you are the intertia.

I hope things work out and you get some more time to relax, and you have to watch more baseball - do the shit you love. Because you can't pretend like you'll have more time in the future, make time now.

By  Damon, at Saturday, July 15, 2006 7:09:00 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:56:00 PM  

part of the reason i'm tryingto do a lot of stuff now is that i think i'll have much more time in the future for cool stuff. look at your parents, my parents, all of them, they don't do shit. i mean my parents work and work on the house and a million little things around the house, but they don't realy party or go out with friends much or just hangout over someones place. getting togeather or going to the mall or seeing a movie is starting to be a big event for them. i need to do more of that crap while i'm young and capable.

brian, i'm going to try and get the pics out tomarrow, i need to go to the bank on my lunch break and i'll do it then.

for the house, my parents came down this weekend and i showed them a bunch. try this link:
"http://www.realtor.com/Prop/1056441889"
this is one i kind of like, my parents agree, i wouldn't offer what they are asking and its been on the market since march. this is also a little higher then i'd like but its nice, very convienent (?).

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:02:00 PM  

"look at your parents" Yes you'll have more time when you're 55, but I meant people often think they can start exercising, or reading more, or eating right when they get a bit more time, just after this project, or this summer, or after my friend's wedding, and my point is that time never comes.

What are you going to do with all those bedrooms? Whatever floats your boat, this is what I'd like to buy: http://www.thehindslofts.com/overview.html unit 2 on the grd floor, I'm told it'll be less than $200k while the penthouses will be more than $400k.

By  Damon, at Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:43:00 PM  

"parially finished basement" eh Matt. Hmmm...that all sounds familiar.

By  Brancibeer, at Sunday, July 16, 2006 11:19:00 PM  

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