# posted by Brancibeer @ 5/28/2006 12:09:00 AM
Should i get another? Cause i'm out. Yes, i think i will. Vacation bitches. Well that settles it then.
So vacation. What does that really mean? I can tell you it means a lot to me right now. I look at myself lately and i do not know what i have become these days. I do not know who i am anymore. Some things are good about it. I am excelling in the the professional world- being able to talk, get things done, understand, dominate my point masterfully. I'm learning much about being off on my own. About myself. But then i realize i do not have a social life. Where did it go? What do i have besides work? Nothing. Nothing. I'm not sure if there is even time. No, there is time. Thats not true. I dont have a huge desire to have one though. What cost have i paid for this professional and personal development? I have problems i never thought i would have. Ridiculous problems. That is what i tell myself. They are almost laughable. I'm tense, i'm stressed, im strung out.
So vacation. I need it. I need more than it. I want to find that part of me that I have somehow lost of the past year. Yes, i remember. I used to have fun. I used to like having fun. I used to want to have fun. I want that back. I need it back. I'm not healthy now. This is not me. This is not my everything. There's more to life than this. There is more than my life to this. And its not simple. There's resistance. Things holding me back. Some of them ridiculous, some of them not. I'm going to work on that. The best i can.
So vacation. It's coming. Soon. And Murphy, i wanted to tell you before i came. I'm kinda fucked up. But its still me somewhere, the team. I'll be cool.
Be cool man, be Cool.
[I think] getting a complete and balanced life where your social life still exists despite high performance at work is not about vacations, it's about well, balance. But it must be hard in that hostile environment. Enjoy the time off, and try to keep the relaxing going when you return.
i'm going to mess you up. you need it buddy.
the balance between professional and social lifes is complicated because they are constantly at war with each other. most social lifes involve staying up late and drinking and being very irrisponsible, work requires the opposite. one is always going to affect the other. sometimes work wins, other times works looses, like wednesdays. work looses on wednesdays. and mondays are usually pretty rough too. and come to think of it, the first two hours of tuesday, thursday and friday don't have much of a chance either. I'd say, in any given week i really only do about 6 hours of real work. yet they still pay me. i must be good.
At the mention of "social life" or "fun" it seems people assume drinking. [In my opinion] the most fun is outdoor activities like skiing and biking. Although you need daylight time off, they will not hurt work performance. By being fit and healthy they will improve it.
It's not about getting 'messed up' or not having time to drink, or battling hangovers at work. It goes deeper than that. Its in my head. Its in the foundations of functioning. Damon seems to be the most on with talking about a balance. The balance has shifted and moved things around. Its hard to explain.
embrace imbalance...
violent swings in the spectrum of life. the highest highs and the lowest lows.
you're thinking too much. your head hurts from excessive thought, you need to get messed up and distracted from all this other crap that gets you loopy. if its the type of questions like, why aren't we all brain surgens working in shrilanka to save lives, well, i don't have an answer for that. there isn't enough time in the day to accomplish everthing we all want to do.
in the end, look out for number one and take care of as many people as you can along the way with out destroying yourself. change is the only constant in any of our lives, nothing is ever going to stay the same for very long, so enjoy it while you can and get ready for whatever might come next.
~ come to south carolina ~ come to south carolina ~ come to south carolina ~ come to south carolina ~
There's that voice in my head again...
i hope it's your dick saying "go to south carolina!"