The Workermonkey

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I'm in too deep, but i'm still head and shoulders above the rest 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 5/03/2006 03:41:00 PM

ever get that feeling you're just cheating your way through life, work, play, etc. Today i was doing a little HX design at work and i had a problem. There is a guy who helps me with this stuff when i have problems so i sent it to him and told him the whole story and how i thought i was really close but my numbers didn't add up. he wrote back that i was totally wrong in what i was doing and i had to find a bunch of numbers that are not easy to find and do all this math that i don't want to spend the time doing. "oh fuck". i suddenly got the feeling that i'm really just cheating my way through this whole HX design crap and i actually have no idea what i'm doing. i think this happens about once ever two months. something happens and i just feel like i'm totally in over my head. these people are relying on me (and paying me) to design this stuff, yet apparently i have no idea what i'm doing. great. once again i can't help but think "they pay me for this?!?".

Of course the flip side is when someone who's been doing stuff like this thier entire career, then turns and asks me a question. the guy across the office from me asked me a few questions about autocad and how layouts should look for bending something. i actually had an answer for it and suddenly felt useful again. maybe thats what they pay me for. Of course this morning i was once again asked a few odd questions about hiring and firing people by HB (Hot Boss). I think it's time to steal person #2 from the old company. apparently we let someone go and one of the guys in the shop i like is leaving. so now we're down a man and i was asked if i know anyone else. tom seems to be working out well, so now i'm a bastion for finding good people. I may not know all the crap i'm supposed to with my big bad engineering degree, but i can sneak my way through it and be really useful in other situations. apparently thats good enough.

4 comments

funny, i was just thinking about this today as i began studying for my advanced tax final. i know enough to get thru these classes, but really i dont know shit. and next year wont help me, cuz its just more classes. and they're all electives, my requirements are done. and the schedule is terrible so you can really only take certain classes cuz there are lots of timing conflicts.

i have 2 finals left. my hardest 2. i'm so close to done. but then i have a whole last year, but it will only be more of the same. i'm getting sick of school, and i dont know what i want to do for a job. fuck, i dont have a job for this summer yet. just a nice big pile of "oh we're sorry but we'll keep your resume on file cuz that will make everything ok" letters. i'm getting sick of this.

By  josh, at Wednesday, May 03, 2006 6:00:00 PM  

were short a couple of guides for the raft company if you want a job josh

By  murphy, at Friday, May 05, 2006 1:21:00 PM  

barone and i are scouting out that prospect

By  Brancibeer, at Sunday, May 07, 2006 8:52:00 PM  

yeah, if i freak out again and quit/get fired maybe rafting guide will be a nice career change.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, May 08, 2006 8:20:00 AM  

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