The Workermonkey

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Travel weary 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 2/11/2006 03:15:00 PM

Its been a hell of a month folks. That damn stomach bug/ whatever really made it fun too. Good news is that I think I finally kicked it (although it has relapsed 2x already). Yup, hopefully ole Branciteam is working his way back up to the 95% health (we leave 5% error margin....standard statistical procedure).

I left last Friday to attend a Sea Turtle workshop in Coastal Town.. (Yay, we love working the weekends btw). That went preeettty good. I was having kinds of mental problems Friday night. You see (to make a long story short), I think the combination of a physical ailment (stomach bug) mixed with the mental stew of nervousness/ anxiety/ stress/ travel weariness/ ex-girlfriend produced weird weird effects. Hard to explain, but when you find yourself alone in a restaurant on a Friday night trying to keep your brain from exiting your skull while not passing out...maybee youll know what I mean. Those were the bad times. I managed to pull the team together in the hotel room with some solitary relaxing exercises. Phew that was close. The next day’s events went fairly well given the circumstances. I gave a decent professional presentation in front of 260 people to the best of my monotone, unpassionite ability. (No biggie, those things take years of practice). Next baby step- heading to fire school down in Central State with coworker. Oh man, me and coworker really haven’t been getting along lately. He’s kind of an arrogant, selfish dick you see. And our deep divisional views about our professional field frustrate the hell me. Traffic in Coastal Town didnt help. Made it to halfway hotel location good enough with only a few momentarily occasions of my mind and body trying to separate from eachother internally. “Come on Team Hang in there buddy.” (Such self pep talks were necessary) Sunday morning: Hmmm, still no appetite. Looks like another forced breakfast. Never underappreciate your hunger sense doobies. It kinda sucks when you have to force yourself to eat something for the pure reason of knowing that your body needs it to subside....and thats it. Its like putting gas in your car- time consuming and unsatisfying (and the fumes make you nauseous).

Made it fire school with plenty of time. Facilities were nice. The training center was in the middle of the woods with a dining hall, rec hall, dorms, etc. Ok, if I try real hard....I can pretend this is summer vacation camp or something. Yeah, yeah this is a vacation. Ok, so why do I just want to go home?

The next 3 days consisted of mind numbing lectures administered by, and taken with, mostly dumb dudes. There were lots of dumb people (many were self admittedly so). I’m talking about thick, hairy, good ole boy, redneck foresters. Man, these forester types were their own breed, raised in the back country woods of fuckyoursisterville. They all wore these old school uniforms, moved in groups, and chewed lots of tobbacco (of course the southern accent is a given). These guys had quite an impression on me. It took a while to get used to them and now whenever I see Smokey the bear..I see him with a big old hunkin’ wad in his mouth. Seriously look at him. He’s juicing...

To their credit, the foresters were ALL good guys. They were nice, helpful, and would give you the shirt off their backs if you asked. If you could put up with their elementary school sarcasm, their tough standoffendness was really just their shyness. I bonded with many by the end of the week.

The whole no appetite thing lasted to about Wednesday night when I finally started actually wanting to eat again. By thursday I no longer had to consciously control my subconscious internal processes (eat now, sleep now). Maybe it was because the bug finally died, maybe it was because I finally felt comfortable, maybe it was because I cried for the first time in months, maybe its because I talked to ex-girlfriend, maybe I scheduled too much within the month, maybe its not over, maybe I still have no fucking idea.

Ok, now to the good stuff, I was at fire school right. Well we got to burn the shit out of some woods boys. The science behind it all is really interesting too. Different firing techniques meet different objectives (killing stuff, seeding stuff, reducing fuel load, etc). Fire behavior is governed by weather, fuels, topography, and you. The class was a week long for a reason I suppose. We got to burn on Wednesday and Thursday, my group getting the 2 most difficult and biggest burns. I actually was burn boss on the first one (the guy who is in charge of it all). Although, that was mostly just for practicing purposes- I was the least experienced and relied heavily on the actual instructor. If it were truly up to me...I’d probably be in jail right now for recklessly setting the state on fire (if you ask me that wouldnt be such a bad thing). Here are some cool pics of the burns:













The beauty of it all


In summary- I pulled through these last couple weeks...or I was pulled thru. Either way, I’m here now, at home, destressing and feeling healthy for the first time in a long time. Lets work from here on out. 25 is going to be a good year god damn it.

(Stay tuned for next week when I elaborate on how 25 is going to be a damn shitty year).

9 comments

Something tells me that you didn't have to go to a school to know how to burn a tree. ha ha ha ha bam!

By  ron, at Sunday, February 12, 2006 11:16:00 PM  

Ok smart ass. Can you tell me the optimal RH, Dispersion Index, Temperature, Wind speed and Mixing height for a summer time burn?

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, February 13, 2006 11:25:00 AM  

The answer is 42.

By  ron, at Monday, February 13, 2006 9:43:00 PM  

he's now a professional 14 year old boy. i guess burning things is just instinct.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Tuesday, February 14, 2006 4:49:00 PM  

One of the subjects during the lectures was "Why we Burn". And among others (maintaining ecological integrity, controlling exotics, reducing fuel load, etc) one of the redneck reasons was, "Because we can and its fun".

By  Brancibeer, at Tuesday, February 14, 2006 6:12:00 PM  

Why you burn is what I was wondering, and "controlling exotics" is the only self explanatory one in that short list, oh and the redneck one. But burning doesn't even seem like the best way to control invasive species, nor do I get the other two.

By  Damon, at Wednesday, February 15, 2006 10:17:00 AM  

Why We Burn? To get high.

By  Anonymous, at Wednesday, February 15, 2006 11:38:00 AM  

Here you go Damon:
1. Fire is a natural process in many plant and forest communities. Removing fire from these has the same results as taking rain out of a rain forest. Plants and animals that depend on fire are lost.
2. Frequent fires remove the build-up of excess dead, flammable plant material that can result in
destructive wildfires when the woods ignite from a lightning strike or a careless match.
3. Prescribed burning recycles nutrients back into the soil that supports new growth.
4. Fire dependent species, like longleaf pine, are choked as seedlings by competing species that are naturally neutralized by fire.
5. Frequent fires maintain the open, park-like condition in pine forests that early explorers and
settlers traveled through with ease.
6. Prescribed fires maintain the scenic beauty of the landscape, because many plant species depend
upon fire to trigger the setting of blooms and seeds for the continuation of the species.
7. Frequent fire maintains plant and animal diversity in the landscape, enhancing habitats so that the
land is able to support healthy plant and animal populations. There is no real management substitute for frequent fire.
8. Seeing smoke from a prescribed burn means there is good land management and stewardship going on.
9. Prescribed burning helps prepare sites for planting new forests, and helps manage pasture and range lands.
10. Prescribed fire helps prevent the loss of property and protects Florida’s timberland values,
especially in the urban/wildland interface.

By  Brancibeer, at Wednesday, February 15, 2006 12:00:00 PM  

so in the last decade all we've done is find better excuses for burning stuff. now we're not causing trouble, we're saving the forests! don't teach your kids that one.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Wednesday, February 15, 2006 1:25:00 PM  

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