The Workermonkey

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Jesus is not alright with me 

# posted by Brancibeer @ 1/28/2006 03:23:00 PM

I'm still snapping shots here and there of the fucked up religious culture i see round heya. It really is overwhelming at times. Sometimes i forget because it all just blends into the norm. I suppose thats what happens. M- i need you to mix me up a sweet song for my upcoming slide show of it all. I've got some ideas. I'll be calling.

I sceduled a busy month+ and i'm entering the home stretch right now. What makes it real fun is that i picked up some kind of stomach bug right when it all started. I've had no appetite for the past week and ive lost about 10 lbs (which i really didnt need). So i've been sitting thru meetings attempting to maintain stability...aka trying not to vomit. This also makes socializing quite hard. I was in the 'hospitality' room all week- which means there was a party going on every night of the week in my suite. I'm sure i made a good impression while i was locked in my room swaying back and forth out of consciousness. Uggg. Figures i suppose. I havnt been sick in 2.5 years and sometimes life just likes to fuck with you like that. Just got to make it another 2 weeks and then i can rest fully. Got a presentation in Jacksonville next saturday in front of 100+ people then i go straight to fire school for the full week. Its an interagency course all about prescribed burning. Should be really intersting, i just hope i can make it thru.

Part of the reason I try to stay healthy physically is to maintain absolute mental health. The two are very much connected. And when you are going thru tough times (like breaking up with a loved one) it is essential to stay as healthy as possible. This whole sick thing just isnt working out for me. I had a rough morning hanging on to sanity. I find myself talking outloud. "Stop it. Thinking these thoughts is not going to help you". Stuff like that. Uggg....maybe its good to dive down to the bottom sometimes. Its a dark cold place i do not enjoy being. It takes effort to climb back up. I've been doing alright, but this bug threw me down there against my will. Plus coming home after a week away is hard. Home can be as lonely as comforting. I've also realized that it is probably not a good idea to appreciate things too much. I've always tried never to underappreciate what i have (health, wealth, friends, etc). But the thing is- when you lose one of those...you really miss it and it makes you depressed. So maybe it is better to maintain a cool neutrality to life. Never appreciate or depreciate something too much.

To sum in up: stress + traveling + sick + mental unstability = the possibiltiy of bad times.

All i can do is hang on and work on the integers i can control. And apparently, due to my new revelation, i need to start caring less.

11 comments

sometimes going to the bottom can remind you that you're still able to get back up. it can be a nice reminder.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Saturday, January 28, 2006 4:17:00 PM  

It is when you are having trouble, missing something, that recognizing what you do have helps. When it's all going well, you don't even have to try to appreciate things, but when there is apparent disaster, knowing what is left, and putting things in perspective, trying to step away from the subjective, is an effective way to cope.

By the way, religion is so absent in Stockholm, I think even going back to New England and passing an occasional nativity or ad for a church function, will seem creepy to me.

By  Damon, at Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:25:00 AM  

Appreciate the depression, it is a wonderful and natural state of being. Dont hold tightly onto happiness or its causes, for in the end this creates sadness. Let all things flow through you and appreciate it all for what it is... Life.

By  wyldshaman, at Sunday, January 29, 2006 9:07:00 AM  

There's so many things in everyday life (food, air, etc.) that are so inherently good, but we're constantly exposed to the goodness so we tend to overlook it because it's normal. Since bad situations are irregular they stand out more. They need, however, to be there. Otherwise there's no comparible opposite for the good. It's hard to recognize good OR bad unless some element of the other is present. I'll give you my junior year term paper on this if it pleases you. It was mostly about Voltaire. Let's hear it for Oppositional Complementarity! (ugh....)

And yes Buddhism is still the answer for most troubles and hasselbacks, as pointed out by Damon and Jesse. And Matt's paraphrasing the new Batman movie I guarantee it.

Got you covered for whatever music you need.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Sunday, January 29, 2006 12:13:00 PM  

Rock bottom is much further down than you think. There is nothing abnormal about getting a little down. How's that Zen proverb go "...nothing is as good or bad as it seems".

By  ron, at Sunday, January 29, 2006 3:54:00 PM  

I understand and know of all the principles you all are speaking. No good without bad, its never as bad as you think, look at the big picture....blah blah blah. But when they fail, where do you turn? I'm not looking for a direct answer here, just merely thinking outloud. I suppose its not about coping with bad times...its about coping with life in general as usual. Maybe i just need a fucking vacation already.

By  Brancibeer, at Sunday, January 29, 2006 11:28:00 PM  

Some turn to jesus......

By  ron, at Sunday, January 29, 2006 11:37:00 PM  

i'll drive my ass down to FLA and personally kick yours if you even for a moment think of turning to religion. don't let it get to you. shit happens. soon more shit will happen to you and you'll forget about the original shit.

By  Supreme Monkey Overlord, at Monday, January 30, 2006 8:22:00 AM  

For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all,..
-The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Galatians 6:8-10

By  wyldshaman, at Monday, January 30, 2006 11:39:00 AM  

i'm with matt. shit happens. cope with it however you feel most inclined (within certain limits of course). only you know what relaxes you and makes you feel better. i sit down and watch a good movie, or go golfing. other people have their own things. take some "brancibeer" time.

By  josh, at Monday, January 30, 2006 12:04:00 PM  

Brancibeer time eh? Hmmm, i suppose i could use a good lay...

By  Brancibeer, at Monday, January 30, 2006 5:28:00 PM  

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