The Workermonkey

Friday, March 18, 2005

Macunas comes thru w/ the full-spirited post 

# posted by DJ Booze Piñata @ 3/18/2005 07:24:00 PM

In in the men's hoops brackets I'm tied for last place with a 70 year old woman coworker. That's exhilerating. Considering my limited knowledge on the subject and the fact I had food poisoning, my picks weren't THAT terrible. (well, UConn's in the final four cuz of the almamater, and Boston's only in cuz of St. Patty's, but still....Duke and Wake look solid. Fuck all.)

I'm still on the 3 month probationary period at work. I thought that was over with after being a temp for the first 3 months, but it's only in the first stages, apparently. Despite attempts at being a Fine Young Gentleman, I still have my old habits of forgetfulness, chronic oversights, and innacuracies (which predate my old habits of powaz-ov-weed). So with a little more focus hopefully I too can say "looks like a case of the Mondays." Seriously, the muzak is repetitive day after day; the coworkers are repetitive day after day and I have completely different values than most of them. And my veneer of professionalism can suffer easily if one of the routine-caffeine-team-players chooses to shittalk on the sly. Fuck all.

"Is it 4:30 yet? Is it 4:30 yet?" JUST SHUT IT. I'm typing a spreadsheet. There's both good and bad aspects to having the single most crowded cubicle area in the office. Sometimes social shitstorms just swirl all around me without me doing or saying anything. I refuse to give up on this gig, of couse. The Park Aid position may take the Best Job Ever title, but I work for the guy who's got more power in Middletown than the Governor.
And I quote: "In other news, we don't have an April speaker yet for our monthly breakfast social, so Senator Dodd is doing what he can to grab Hillary Clinton." The tone of his voice didn't even change.

POLICE BLOTTER (brought to you by Mattlock):

He came to the high school a year or so after we left, but you may recall Mr. Wilkin the new social studies teacher. Walked with a bit of a gait. My brother just saw on the news that young Willy Wilkin got arrested for growing pot plants in his home in Clinton! Always thought he was a nice guy - it's a shame he's a deranged criminal lunatic! (haha just kidding).

The Otis Duo (again): you'll enjoy this.
So Keith and thier friend Travis are pretending to fight just outside a pizza place in Rhode Island. Keith somehow accidentally crashes through the storefront window and lands inside. Travis and the brothers try to flee the scene when several pizza employees jump the counter and rush them. Monkey Knife Fights ensue!!!!!! Once the police arrive, the Brothers Grim surrender, but Travis makes a dash. Unfortunately, he runs the wrong way and winds up literally at the end of a pier before turning himself in.
Strangely enough, a second unrelated Pizza House Brawl happened just a few hours later. The employees were actually swinging bats this time! Makes you wonder just what kind of a pizza house this is....
So the sons and Mr. Otis are at home watching the tube with Mrs. Otis, to whom this is so far kept a secret for her own mental well-being. Being the slow news day that it was, Channel 8 News coincidentally brought a report of a Pizza House Brawl in Rhode Island....all non-Mrs. Otis parties in the living room did thier best to convince her she just misheard the term "Kyle and Keith Otis" on network news. I have no report as to the success of the wool-over-eyes crusade.

Mattlock's moral: don't think about dissing. It could happen to you. I'll make sure of it. Some just have a flair for the bombastic and sensational. I told this story at work and one woman actually called her son just to see if he was okay. Classic.

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