The Workermonkey

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

'the fiasco' 

# posted by ron @ 3/01/2005 10:56:00 AM

this is the title i give to the events that take place at my apartment complex when ever it snows more than two inches.

Without fail when it snows someone gets stuck going up the 'slight' hill entering the driveway to my apartment complex. now bear with me in describing this hill as nothing more than the pitch of road between my house and damons on RT81. for those who dont know the road its probably 5% or 4.5 degrees. in defense of the unfortunate fools who do stop because.... why i cant say, but it is 'S' curved and if you do go too fast you'll most likely spin out, but thats only exiting down the hill. coming up the hill its pretty hard to spin out, trust me, i've pushed my pro-rated rally escort to its limits in the snow. so according to me, there is no excuse for getting stuck here. plus my roomate, eric with his rear wheel drive firebird can easily navigate this stretch without problem with 4" on the road.
regardless, someone allways seems to stop and once that happens you have to turn around and go all the way back out and try again. now i'm not bashing here, but i'm just observing, its mostly women who as soon as the tires spin a bit the just push on the gas harder. When they do this they begin to slid off the road because its not exactly level. now they are sideways in the road and basically fucked because they still try to go foreward and fail.
now the party starts. they basically clog up the road until there is a line of cars waiting to go up the hill and a few at the top trying to exit. keep in mind that all the cars trying to enter are also now stuck because they stopped on the hill too. this goes on for a few minutes until all 'the goons' come. basically these are all the guys in the waiting cars who get out to see what the problem is and take care of business. this pack usually reaches around 7-10 large and its their job to push all the stuck cars up the hill until the road is clear. its funny because they think they are gaining man points by helping when infact they are just as dumb as the girls for blocking the fucking road and not going back down the hill to try again this time without stopping. usually the last goon to go has a jeep or something and doesnt need any help because they can start on the hill with 4wd, this guy isnt usually one of the goons he's just the last guy because hes got a jeep and he has to wait until last. some frustraited people park at the enterance and walk to their apartment. those people are just plain dumb, all you have to do is wait for the goons to take care of the hill and then drive up casually keeping your momentum. there is also usually an impatient guy with 4wd who just fucking bombs up, half off the road and gets by the whole mess basically with a middle finger out the window.
one night i saw the pizzia guy stuck in line, he jumped out and ran up the hill to deliver the food. thats hardcore man, props to him.
anyway the line last night was pretty good. from my window i think i counted 12 cars waiting to come up and 4 trying to leave. pretty good for 3" of snow. the best ones are on the weekends when people are coming home after a few drinks.
another time, this girl got stuck and just left her car in the road. right in the fucking road. i think its was a girl because what guy would drive a white cavilear with flowery detailing on it? well anyway, someone trying to leave couldnt stop and just plowed into it. 2 cars in the woods and a huge waiting line for that one.
everytime it snows i'm assured entertainment at dinner time or late night. its really a funny situation.

1 comments

I can attest to this from back in my days living in Fiasco. Sounds like it's gotten worse though. That grade takes a little getting used to, ladies.

By  DJ Booze Piñata, at Tuesday, March 01, 2005 9:41:00 PM  

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