The Workermonkey

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Mr. Selig Goes To Washington (again) 

# posted by Supreme Monkey Overlord @ 3/10/2004 11:59:00 AM

Today Mr. Bud Selig and Donald Fehr are going to washington to speak with congress on the subject of steroids in baseball. Apperently our government has found time between war, fighting terror, increasing healthcare costs, rising unemployment, the uncontrolable downward spiral of our national debt and drilling thier religous agenda into our heads to inquire about the state of steroids in baseball. If either of these men had any balls they'd stand up and tell our congress to fuck off, they have no place in what happens in baseball. there is no government control over our beloved national passtime oh wait, baseball enjoys the flexability of anti-trust exemptions? and tax payer financed ball parks? is that what you say? so selig and fehr have to get on thier knees and suck down a warm glob of forgiveness in front of the governement so that these things don't surface. Since when does our government respond to media hype? thats all this is, the media has found some sort of controversy and won't let go of it. steroids haven't suddenly been passed out before games. players aren't taking them any more then they have in the past 50 years. so why all of a sudden is every record from bonds' home runs to ricky henderson's stolen bases (hold on, this hasn't come up on the topic of steroids? odd.) come under fire. last year homeruns were down across the league. couldn't have anything to do with better pitching could it? na, must be the juiced players. every ball player across the country suddenly gave up steroids last year. that must be it. so now its time to test them all, every day, for any substance not found in steak and milk.

now our government has kindly steped in to provide we the consumer a cleaner ball game. who cares about football, let them do all the coke and roids they can get thier hands on, we love those violent hits and sacraficial quaterbacks. don't mess with texas! or the government will crush you. under G.W.B.'s america things that take time to progress and can't be changed in a sound bite or a spoonful of afternoon blow, like baseball, literature, and the enviroment have no place. next we'll be burning books and killing witches. they're already trying to control our air waves and the information we're exposed to. good thing the new iraq already has more freedoms then we do. maybe bush can get that country right, he bankrupted two companies before he was president. now maybe he can bankrupt two countries. there's no place to go but up, right?

on a lighter subject, hockey needs to revoke the instigator rule. daren pang had a good piece about how it caused the bertuzzi incident. the players need to be able to police themselves. fighting is part of hockey, its a very gentalmenly fisticuffs so i don't see a problem with it.

oh yeah, martha's guilty. prision will never look that same again, i see more doylies.

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